Blog Update!
For those of you not following me on Facebook, as of the Summer of 2019 I've moved to Central WA, to a tiny mountain town of less than 1,000 people.

I will be covering my exploits here in the Cascades, as I try to further reduce my impact on the environment. With the same attitude, just at a higher altitude!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Dick Cheney goes green

A brand new, improved Dick?Well, after all this time making fun of Darth Cheney and his huge negative impact on environmental issues, it looks like he is crossing over from the dark side. This morning's New York Times reports that Dick has decided to jump on the green bandwagon and start lowering his carbon footprint.
As vice-president, I've seen firsthand how important it is to preserve the Earth for our children and grandchildren. One of the resounding actions I want to accomplish during the rest of this term is to make a positive change in that direction. And that positive change starts with me. Lynne and I are looking into solar panels, potential geo-thermal heating and Lynn has her eye on a Tango...

Perhaps Dick is a little concerned that Lynne is going to be swept off her feet by George Clooney and his tiny Tango. While I'm a little dubious over the sincerity of his statements, we'll have to wait and see.

Dick also stated that he regrets voting against the Clean Water Act and air pollution sanctions in the 1980s and wishes he had started working toward a cleaner environment while he still had the chance. While he may not quite be ready to hang up his snowmobile, it's a step in the right direction.

Anyway, I guess there's hope yet for the planet.

21 comments:

Laura said...

Interesting that his take on 'going green' is to go out and buy a whole bunch of big ticket items.
(Apologies for the snarkyness but I really have stopped trying to stifle it when it comes to Cheney and the like.) :D

DC said...

I just knew he was a closet environmentalist! Does he consider waterboarding a "green" interrogation technique?

In other news, I am now remembering the words of our friend Greenpa, who said not so long ago, "Maybe we should do an April Fool's Day mutual attack, once a year, or something . . . There's considerable evidence that a good sense of humor is adaptive, and a good survival trait. So that's hopeful." So, as you may remember, Crunchy recently broke the story regarding Greenpa's true avocation. I am sad to report that since that time I have uncovered evidence that he has expanded his line of "unconventional" organics. I found the evidence in my local newspaper this morning, in this advertisement.

Greenpa, won't you please follow big Dick's example and clean up your act?

Anonymous said...

Gee. Almost believable if it weren't for that little war he started. But who is perfect? Who among us can say we never began an event responsible for a million deaths, the destruction of some of the oldest art and history in the world, and created the perfect breeding/training ground for anti-American terrorists?

Unknown said...

one thing he is right about - his chance is in the past.

Allie said...

That's nice, I guess. I think in the position he's in, there's a lot more he could do for the environment than getting solar panels and a smaller car (not that those aren't good things).

Anonymous said...

I'm with organicneedle. "almost believable," but may I also add "laughable?" Debbie C

Crunchy Chicken said...

Ok, people, before this goes too far... this was an April Fool's joke.

Theresa said...

Nice one Crunchy!

m said...

I knew it was an April Fools joke. There is no way he would say those things.

Anonymous said...

Aw, I thought he was just envious of Al Gore's post-White House career and emulating his path!

Anonymous said...

But I read somewhere that Bush's ranch is relatively small (4,000 sq feet), off the grid with passive solar and geothermal heating and cooling, grey water and rain collection, and purification chambers underground for black water. Maybe he know something he's not telling the rest of us...

ruchi said...

Ha, ha, I KNEW it was an April Fool's joke. No way was Darth Cheney going green. But it was a pretty believeable joke, so, nice one Crunchy!

Sam said...

This is the best April Fool's post I've read so far.

And I realize this is completely cruel and uncalled for...but...I wonder if he would have had that lopsided face with all those heart surgeries if he had been a organic, vegan eater instead of having his meat flown in from Europe.

BTW, Darth Cheney sounds much better than Dick Cheney.

Anonymous said...

I was so believing you, too! *sigh* Is it really too much to hope that people can change their ways?

Akkire said...

just so you know, when I did a search to find the article...your blog came up #4 in the google search. that's pretty awesome.

Miss Sub said...

If I hadn't just been fooled by Grist's article about Al announcing his candidacy, I so would've believed this too! Good one!

Robj98168 said...

If Cheney is Darth does that make Bush The Emperor? I have always figured that he didn't have enough brains for emperor.

Laura said...

Ok, I'm a total dork. You got me. :) Nice one!

Lee said...

Nice April Fools :-)

But as an aside relevant to this post, have you ever noticed how many Politicians turn over a green leaf when they retire from office, or look like being ousted? Hmmm...shame they don't do it while *in* office.

Anonymous said...

There's a home-made political website that has something cool: It shows two houses, one incorporates all these "green" features and one has an ENORMOUS carbon footprint. Guess which is owned by Bush and which is owned by Gore? (it's at www.citizensnotsubjects.com and you have to click on SECTION D off to the side).

Just some more food for thought.

Anonymous said...

I really think the Cheney bashing is uncool. If that election had gone the other way, everyone would still be saying what a rotten job is being done. You may remeber that the other canidate for president wasn't too bright, his victory party held me up in traffic for over an hour (I had to drive that day even thought I was in Boston). If he didn't care about all the trash (confetti) I had to walk through for the next week why would his VP. Look, I think it's great he decided to do right by the planet after his first choice for a career didn't work out, but let's not kid ourselves. A politician can call themselves a Dem or a Rep, but at the end of the day they all do the same thing once elected.