Blog Update!
For those of you not following me on Facebook, as of the Summer of 2019 I've moved to Central WA, to a tiny mountain town of less than 1,000 people.

I will be covering my exploits here in the Cascades, as I try to further reduce my impact on the environment. With the same attitude, just at a higher altitude!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Build my bed, baby!

Welcome back, Carter!My friend, Rachel, has been stressing over her unprepared garden beds. She has big dreams of turning her small, shady backyard that's chock full of deer, coyote and bears into a gardening mecca. Now, in spite of the obvious potential problems, she remains undaunted. Until she slipped a few discs in her back last week.

So, in pain she lies, tortured by the thoughts of missing out on this year's gardening season. I argue, of course, that she has months to get things done.

Or maybe we can just get this guy to come out and build her beds (wink wink). I'm sure her husband, Dan, won't mind.

Why have I not seen Carter Oosterhouse before? Oh yeah, I don't watch TV.

For those interested parties, he's got a new show on the DIY Network called Inside Job during the Nailed at 9 lineup. Does anyone else have their mind in the gutter? Not that mine leaves it very often, but when did DIY start doing soft-porn? How many women will be DIY while watching this show?

Good Lord, Rachel, I'm thinking this might not be a bad idea. Sorry, Dan. But, I gots to look out for my peeps.

Sheeez, I'm digressing here. Anyway, my "inside" source tells me that every episode features a green element as an integral component of the construction project. So, while I'd like to see a mainstream show constructing truly green homes or following some sort of LEED-certification, at least it's a baby step toward getting the masses used to the idea of green building.

Hmph. I guess we're still just stuck with Greenpa for now. Sigh...


Anonymous said...

Crunchy - I've seen his show and if he came shirtless to build anything at my house I wouldn't toss him out of bed for eating organic-made-at-home-local-wheat crackers in it.

Have you tried to contact the producers to get your friend on the show???

Anonymous said...

Well, I may not be a big hunky guy but I'm sure I look equally good topless!

My suggestion is to call all the local garden centers or garden clubs and see if there is an eagle scout or enterprising business-person who could come out and do much of the heavy work to get the garden ready to plant.

For example, my whole business centers around helping gardeners get their chores done. I actually call my business "The Assistant Gardener" because I think the homeowner should be the Head gardener. I basically do the heavy and tedious jobs so my clients can do a little gardening without hurting their backs. I might build a raised bed box, fill it with soil and compost, and then my client plants the lettuce seeds. Then, I come back every week and weed the garden, mulch, water, fertilize, whatever. Then my client harvests the lettuce and takes all the credit. (smile)

But, sorry, I only work in Austin.
Ask around, there's bound to be someone in your local area willing to "build" a garden so all Rachel has to do is go out and plant the seeds.

Oldnovice said...

Ask around, there's bound to be someone in your local area willing to "build" a garden so all Rachel has to do is go out and plant the seeds.

Oldnovice wants this, too! Are you sure you couldn't travel a few hours north to S. Grand Prairie to help out a fellow blogger? Pretty please?


Jenn said...

There's just something about a guy in a tool belt....hmmmmm

Greenpa said...

Whaddya mean "stuck"!! I think we've had irrefutable proof recently that I make truly superlative fantasy material!

Anonymous said...

Crunch --

Between you and Greenpa this morning I need to go nap before work from laughing so hard! Thank gawd I read the posts before I put my mascara on!

And yes, "Carter Can" do a lot of things in my mind. I agree with Jen, there's just something about a guy wearing a toolbelt. Shirtless. With a beautiful smile, and long, thick, wavy black hair...outside, in the yard, amongst the flowers....

Oh, wait a minute. Were we talking about gardening?

Crunchy Chicken said...

Um, Greenpa? I'm pretty sure but that "fantasy material" was directly related to poop.

So, while you may be a much better conversationalist and an expert outhouse carpenter, I'm gonna have to Vote for Carter.

Crunchy Chicken said...

anonymous - I'd love to get Rachel on the show. And, of course, I'd have to be there too, because I'd be soooo helpful.

I know it's an unscripted show, but I've already coached Rachel on a few key lines.

Carter: So, are you ready for an Inside Job?

Rachel: Oh yeaaaah (looking him up and down)

Carter: Let's start by showing me where you want to do this.

Rachel: Right up here on the second floor, I've already warmed the sheets for the bed. Oh! You mean the garden...

Carter: Now, I want to talk about soil temperatures and growing plants.

Rachel: Speaking of temperatures, I know it's only 50 degrees out, but can you take off your shirt?

Carter: This deer proof fence will keep out the coyotes too.

Rachel: And it looks like a cute little corral. Hey, that reminds me! Let's play my favorite game "Ride the Pony". Did you bring your chaps?

See? It'll be awesome...

Anonymous said...


Green Bean said...

Oh yeah, baby! I'm totally gonna watch that show. Let's bombard the DIY network to get Rachel on the show.

Crunchy, it's so nice to have you and Greenpa indulge in the some ecologically minded humor. No one ever said we had to be boring to go green.

DC said...

Crunchy, I would not be so quick to make assumptions about Greenpa. I was at my Aunt's house the other day helping her declutter her basement when I came across this old magazine. Take a look at the lower right hand corner. It seems our Greenpa was quite the swinger in his day. He may very well be the Hugh Hefner of the environmental movement. I won't repeat what the text of article says because I don't want to change the G-rated atmosphere of your blog. But let's just say that in Greenpa's heyday, "green" was red hot.

Anonymous said...

This has made my day. ;)

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I'm not going to be able to check the comments at work anymore. Now I've pulled up the "Greenpa" Playgirl issue on my work computer? Discussions about chaps? Diva cups shooting out of peoples personals?

Hysterical laughter is now piercing the cube farm. Not normal at my work.

Oh ya. I'm working hard.....

You guys have made my Friday.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to be "Nailed at 9." Just maybe on a weekend that Dan is mountain climbing. Thanks for looking out for me, Crunch!

Anonymous said...

I have just added "RTFLMCO" to my list of fabulous internet terms!

Greenpa said...

DC- dang, I thought that old issue was long forgotten.

ah, well. Hilarious!

And incidentally - what the heck do you mean by "in his day"? In case you haven't noticed- I DO have a 2.9 year old daughter...

And as the Navy Captain says in "South Pacific" - "And I do not consider myself to be, by any means, THA-ROOO!"