Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Do you have a favorite child?

A question came up the other day that I thought was an interesting one. If you have more than one child, do you have one that is a favorite? Alternatively, if you have siblings, did your parents favor one child over another?

I thought about this, but it didn't take too long. I don't have a favorite child. I love them both immensely and enjoy being with them for totally different reasons. Their personalities are so different, yet so similar at the same time. It's hard to put into words exactly what I love so much about each one of them, but I just know that I don't have a favorite. Sure, they both alternatively irritate me (or both at the same time) and I wish one were more like the other, but when you get down to it, I wouldn't change that. Okay, maybe a few personality quirks.

As for my three brothers and I, I'd have to say that we were all favorites for different reasons. I was a favorite because I was the only girl, my oldest brother for being first born and for being born premature, my second oldest brother for being the brilliant, easy golden child and my third oldest brother for being the youngest boy. We were all favored for different reasons, so I'd have to conclude that none of us were the favorite. Although my brothers would argue that I was probably the favorite, but that's because they didn't see it from my point of view.

What about you? Do you have a favorite child? Or were you the favorite growing up?

31 comments:

Paige said...

I have four boys, aged 12, 7,6,5. I alternately tell them they are my favorite, "for the next ten minutes". It's a running joke now. When one says something sweet to me I say "aww, you're my favorite!" and the rest say "for the next ten minutes!". I love each of them so completely. I feel like I KNOW some of them better than others, but I don't love/like one more than another.

Robj98168 said...

Of course I was the favorite growing up. I was the only one. And didn't have to share nuthin'.

Frugal Nut said...

I only have one child, and she's definitely my favourite, haha. Growing up, it was me and my brother. I was convinced for the longest time that my parents favoured my brother, but in time I've realized that it was pretty even. They disciplined me more, because I actually learned from my mistakes. They stopped bothering with him because he never listened anyways, lol. Interesting question though, I'm excited to read the responses.

The 4 Bushel Farmgal said...

I have 3 sons, ages 32, 28, and 24. Each had personalities and qualities that made them "favorites".

My 24 yr old jokes that he is my favorite youngest son - and it's true :)

Kimberly Michelle said...

Well, I'm an only child...automatically the favorite!

Anonymous said...

I have a favorite girl and a favorite boy - of course, I have one of each. I definitely have one child that I empathize with more, and feel like i understand and "get" - that's the one with a very similar personality to me. I also worry about that kid a lot more. The other one is much more fun to hang out with, but I'm perplexed by how awful he can be to other people, in a way the older one never was (typical childhood stuff, nothing extreme). In short, one makes a very agreeable small child, and one is a pretty difficult small child who is going to grow into an extraordinary adult. I wouldn't say I love one more than the other, just differently. Because they're very.very different people.

In my house, i wasn't aware of favorites as a little kid, but as we grew, it became pretty clear that even though there might not be a favorite, there was definitely a least-favorite. Which really kind of sucks. Actually, my brother was probably the favorite. My sister was the least-favorite, and I was the oldest and hell-on-wheels as a teenager and can't imagine that I was anybody's favorite for a decade there. My brother, being the middle child, was much less trouble and probably earned favorite status by default (and kept it by growing up to be a doctor).

All of Us said...

I have two girls and I don't have a favorite. I try so hard to make everything equal because growing up I was affected by favoritism.

My parents (and mother in particular) definitely favored my sister. I was constantly told there was no money for anything while she, just two years younger, got better clothes, a school trip to Europe and such. We ended up getting married the same year and my parents said we could have a traditional wedding or just the money. I choose the money thinking I could use it as a base for a down payment. My sister choose the wedding. Well about a month before I was to say my vows, they called and said that since my sister's wedding was costing more than they thought, they were not going to be able to give me the money. Yeah.

I hope I don't sound like a money-grubbing twit, but it was the culmination of a lifetime of favoritism is such an ugly way.

I do talk to my parents. My daughters have a relationship with them but I will never really forgive them.

Please do not favor one child over another!!!

Bucky said...

I've only got the one boy, and sometimes he's my favorite. When he's asleep, for instance. How angelic he is then! And when he's having fun and being sweet -- well, of course he's my favorite.

But then when he's being stubborn about doing his homework or chores, not so much.

My favorite is the sweet child, not the annoying one.

Growing up, I have an older sister who was certainly the favorite. I always say that I wised I had her parents. It is good to be the princess.

Tree Huggin Momma said...

I have a favorite trait about both my girls. I love how GreenGirl is so compassionate (to a fault sometimes), and I love how GreenTween is so curious (wanting to know how things work, and the whys). They are each so different. Growing up being the one to be compared to:
This is J she is our first born, this is B she is our middle child and always sick, and this is T she is healthy, and stays out of trouble.
I heard so many times said to my sisters : Why can't you be more like T.
I was a good child (because I was terrified of dissapointing my parents), I had good grades with little effort, and I was blessed with good health.
I know what kind of sibling rivalry that created (and it still exists), so I try very hard not to compare my children, instead to say they are just different.

Katy said...

I have one perfect child so no needs to play favoriates.

Growing up I think my parents loved and hated us all equally at different times for different reasons. I have to say that personalities have a lot to do with things.

Oldnovice said...

My three were close in age, and the middle (sandwiched) child just never got the same amount of attention. I think that made her more independent growing up, although she's a self-proclaimed people-pleaser today.

My parents had three children, as well, and I think my parents favored my oldest brother (first-born) and me (baby) over my middle brother. He even mentioned it to me once.

I have a favorite son, a favorite first daughter, and a favorite second daughter. They're NOTHING alike and that works for us.

Sonja said...

I'm with Rob, I was their best and their worst child, all rolled into one.

Only children don't have to deal with favoritism, but they do frequently have some pretty heavy expectations laid at their feet. Fortunately my parents were/are awesome and pretty laid back. But I've seen favoritism with friends (and their parents) and it just about breaks your heart, everytime.

Samantha said...

strange that you decided to do a post on favorite children this week. i don't have kids, so i don't have a favorite... growing up, however, my mother always favored the middle sister (i'm the youngest of three girls). my oldest sister would also agree. and unfortunately, my mother continues to favor the middle child to this day. my middle sister has major anger problems and she treats people inhumanely and my mother makes excuses for her every time. i'm currently not speaking to either my sister or my mom because i was the target of her explosive anger in just the last two weeks... and my mother took her side. so embarrassing. i think it has to do with my mother's incessant need to protect my sister.

TheSimplePoppy said...

God no, I do not have favorites, though I do have one very easy child and one very difficult (but hilarious) child and I'm definitely more exasperated with the latter sometimes! I try really hard to be equal with them - they're great kids.

@All of Us- Wow, that's really unforgivable, I'd have a hard time even keeping up a relationship if the bias was that blatant. Too bad.

Sammie said...

My parents did have favorites (my mom admitted as much to me when I brought it up a few years ago), but it's funny which one they chose. My biological parents divorced when I was around 2, and my mom remarried when I was 6. Her second husband has been and always will be "Dad." My younger brother (technically half brother, although I never think of him that way) was born when I was 9. Yet my dad favored me, the child he wasn't genetically related to. My mom favored my brother.

Jennie said...

I spent some time in India, and this subject actually came up. It's considered normal parenting there to have a favorite child. It doesn't mean they love the others less, they just recognize that for whatever reason, child B is their favorite.

Kate said...

I don't have kids, so this question isn't for me. But I have to wonder: what parent is going to admit to having favorites? It's such a taboo in our culture that I can't imagine anyone remotely owning up to favoritism among their children. It's an admission I'd expect to see at Post Secret, and nowhere else.

EcoLife said...

My sister is my fathers favorite and my brother is my mothers favorite. Both parents "claim" they don't have favorites but even friends and my husband agree it was obvious. Still it made me who I am so I can't complain too much. It's funny how even into adults the favoritism plays out. Now don't get me wrong I know they love me, but they do show it very differently to me than my siblings.

As for my own kids, I have furry babies and can't have human ones. So my favorite child is the only one I have and she delights in covering me in fur! LOL!

TheNormalMiddle said...

I like saying that each of my kids are my favorites in their OWN way. My firstborn holds a very special spot because she was first, and she came after losing two babies. My middle born is very special because she was born with serious health issues and has been through so much. I've spent many a day in the hospital with her, something that will bond a mother/child in a weird way. My son is very special and unique because 1) he's the baby and 2) he's our only son and 3) he's the last baby we'll have.

So they're all favorites in their own way. I love them all equally, just in very unique ways.

re'New said...

I have three kids. Twin girls and a boy. One of the girls says she is treated like the "middle child" which is crazy considering she is only 4 minutes younger than her sister.
I had 2 brothers and a sister. Boy, me, girl, boy. I know I was NOT the favorite (or equal) and was reminded of that again just this last month. Oh, wait, I AM the favorite - to do all the grunt work and to be taken for granted....

Ivy said...

I'm an only child, so no favoritism. But I'm fairly certain that there were times my parents preferred the dogs (or cats).

That aside, as a teen and adult I have noticed some weird favoritism w/ regards to my aunt. She's willfully helpless, so my Dad runs to her rescue. Whereas I can take care of myself, so I'm expected to. Which is fine most days, but it drives me nuts someday to feel like I'm working so hard and not getting far, and she just gets handed things to her because she gives up.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit to being the favorite in my family. It was nice in some ways but harder on me in others. I always got the best of everything, and still get my own way. But in other ways it's held me back. I didn't learn the concept of sharing until I entered the work force at 18, and apparently I still not very good at it. And it made me feel really bad to have my sister tell me how hard it was to hear "Why can't you be more like your sister?" from our mother (and school teachers).

I don't have kids yet but I'm going to do my best to treat them all the same. Being constantly compared really messed up my younger sister.

Brenna said...

I love the book You're All My Favorites, especially for this reason. I have three (6, 4, & 20mo.)and they really are all my favorites. I love them all for who they are and all the lovely, wild, silly, sweet, irritating things they do.

I always say to them that they are my favorite 4 year old, or favorite 6 year old. They love it..

Mia @ agoodhuman said...

My sister will tell you that I was the favourite. I think I was just the oldest, so she was always compared to me.

If you look at it from my point of view, my parents helped her get through university, they helped her buy a car and they helped her buy a house. I had none of that. I was fiercely independent and did it all myself.

My parents were hard on me, but I think they knew I had more potential. My sister had it pretty easy by comparison. Was there favoritism? Not sure. I think they just treated each of us how we needed to be treated based on our different personalities.

As adult children I seem to be the more respected one, but I don't think you could say I'm the favourite because my sister has other qualities that I don't have.

DiElla said...

Oh course my son is my favorite. Oh yeah, he's my one and only so that doesn't probably count.

Elea Carey said...

You're my favorite child.
I don't know why I said that, except that it will make you laugh.
I gave you an award on my blog. Somebody gave me one of those chain letter awards last week, and you know what? It was very very nice...? But I decided to make up my own.
Take care
elmo

Lauren @ Just Add Lauren said...

I don't have kids, so I can't answer from that perspective, but I think growing up that my parents felt like a lot of the other posters feel- they liked each of us (there are three of us, and i'm in the middle) for different reasons. I definitely think I am my dad's favorite, and my sister and my mom have a very very close bond, but then again my brother is the only boy, so he's liked for that reason. I guess we each bring something unique to the table...

Naomi said...

I have three favourites :)

My eldest DD (8 yrs old) is my favourite because for so long it was just us two. They were hard and special times. She is a strong minded and very loving young person! And seeing her become a big sister has being wonderful.

My DS (13 months) is my favourite because he is such a happy -albiet destructive- bundle of smiles and laughs. He is very very sweet, very loud and very talkative.

My youngest DD (2 months) is only little and we are still getting to know her. But she is my favourite sleeper lol! We're just starting to see the smiles and coos, and she is a soft snuggly bundle that just loves her cuddles.

So yes, I have a favourite child, but they are all favourites for their own reasons :)

Kirsten said...

I just wanted to let you know that I have an award for you on my blog!

http://diapersanddandelions.blogspot.com

Maddie Can Fly said...

My oldest brother was the favorite. Everyone saw it and commented on it (family and not-so-close friends). My grandmother even said that my parents acted like they only had one child. That left me and my youngest brother as allies. Now we're all grown (supposedly) and neither of us talk to the oldest brother. My father finally made the admission a couple of years ago that they were wrong to favor him so much.

KiwiLog said...

Hi! We loved your post over at KiwiLog and decided to feature it as part of our weekly Mom Blog round-up. Thanks!

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