Blog Update!
For those of you not following me on Facebook, as of the Summer of 2019 I've moved to Central WA, to a tiny mountain town of less than 1,000 people.

I will be covering my exploits here in the Cascades, as I try to further reduce my impact on the environment. With the same attitude, just at a higher altitude!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Grab your foreskin!

In this day and age of hard decisions and arguments about circumcising the youth of today, there's some good news to cheer about!

No, I'm not talking about face creams made out of baby's foreskins and, no, I'm not talking about the profits that one single foreskin can earn you (it can be used for decades to produce miles of skin and generate as much as $100,000).

What I'm talking about is a product to enhance those men whose parents felt the need to snip. Viafin-Atlas, out of Salisbury, England, is the world leader (and, I suspect, the only one) in the manufacture of the world's first ever artificial retractable foreskin for circumcised men. Yes, I'm talking to you, 56.1% of American men!

SenSlip will, allegedly, help restore the sensitivity of the penis, and protect the glans from the dryness and chafing caused by constant exposure to, and rubbing against, clothing. It looks, feels and "works" similar to a real foreskin. Well, except for the sex part.

So, if your man is circumcised, no fear! SenSlip has a "Trial Size Pack" of 4 different sizes from just $29 so you can give your new man-made foreskin a whirl. It comes in different colors and will make you scream, "slip it to me baby"!

My favorite FAQ:
Q: Can the SenSlip be used during sexual activity?

A: No. The SenSlip must never be inserted into any part of the body. During R&D some men became aroused when they fitted the SenSlip and subsequently admitted to masturbating when it was in place. It should be noted that the SenSlip was not designed for this and damage to the SenSlip may occur.

R&D, huh? Anyway, go ahead and slip on what yo momma gave you. And then snipped off.

Just remember... The SenSlip is NOT to be used for penetration. The SenSlip is not a sex toy, your man puts it on in the morning and takes it off at night, just like his shirt.

And he'll have the foreskin of the man your man's foreskin could look like. On a horse. Or a boat. I'm not sure which. But they do come in brown.


Paige said...

Please tell me this is an early April Fools joke!

Unknown said...

Am I ever glad I looked at the date of this post. I was really confused. Now I think I'm not, but I could be...

Crunchy Chicken said...

Maybe. Maybe not. That's for you to decide :)

Unknown said...

I have a feeling that you are laughing at us right now. I don't mind. you're entitled...

Restoring Tally said...

Wearing the Senslip will let a guy get back some of the sensitivity that he lost after being circumcised. The Manhood does something similar. But, guys that really want to go all the way restore their foreskin. Hmmm. Do guys really tug their nether regions or is this just another thing that comes up on the first of April?

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that this appears to be a real product. And also, some of the things that I saw while googling to verify its existence can never be unseen. Oy.

CitricSugar said...

I am killing myself laughing.

That's after I choked on my drink when I first saw that pic.

Bonus points for the last paragraph.

Robj98168 said...

Of all the love of christ.... nobody can miss their foreskin that much.

Of course, you could have been circumcised by the over 80 year old doctor at St. Ansgars hospital in Park River, ND... and look like you still have a foreskin.

But then the man was over 80... and didn't shake or slip while performing the procedure... so maybe I won't bitch ;P

MaddyG said...

Oh my stars. I do hope you include this work of brillance in your forthcoming book. So very very Crunchy and good! ; )

Maria said...

You made my morning.....Hysterical!! Thank you!

Greenpa said...

Well, but you left out the details! We need feedback from you on the actual performance! Obviously, you wouldn't write a review without trying it.



Crunchy Chicken said...

Greenpa - I hate to break it to you, but I don't have a penis. And you are assuming that, if I did, I wouldn't have a foreskin. Which I don't. Because I don't have a penis.

Anyway, this doesn't look very sustainable. It seems a whole lot more environmentally friendly to leave the foreskin on the penis than to have to replace it later with some creepy latex foreskin cozy. But, that's just me.

I think I'd freak out if I encountered someone with a removable, retractable foreskin. Do you have to soak it in a glass of Efferdent on the bedside table when you are having sex?

Or do you just hang it on the bedpost and hope it doesn't fall off and land on your partner's forehead? I wonder if they did R&D on these problems?

Angela said...

To be honest, I'm pretty damned happy to see this, considering last week was Genital Integrity Week on facebook. ...except that it's not designed to masturbate with, so that kinda sucks.


for those of you who think this is funny or a joke (regardless of the date), there are a hell of a lot of circumcised men out there who feel rightly violated, as it *wasn't their choice* to have that part of their body removed.

Greenpa said...

aw, Crunch. I think you're just being premeditatedly perverse. :-)

You know perfectly well we need viewpoints from both you and your Hubby, and video, of course. After all, the non-penile person's perspective is paramount; n'est pas?

Anonymous said...

And guess which Australian-born exceedingly right-wing media magnate owns Discovery Channel? I'll give you a clue - his initials are RM.

He owns Fox News too, which should actually be called 'Faux News' - that would be accurate.