Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bottled water is best

I've come to the hideous conclusion that we are all being duped about bottled water. I first was made aware of the bottle water issue when the City of Seattle stopped providing bottled water to its employees, stating that it was for financial and environmental reasons.

But, I have since learned that it's really just part of a nationwide conspiracy trying to put the bottled water industry out of business. Sure, the water in the bottles was really just municipal tap water, the same as that which came out of the sinks, but don't they realize the pipes in those old city buildings are probably contaminating everyone? The same reason why they shut down the fountains in so many Seattle Public Schools?

Bottled water is actually a cost savings when you think about the health care costs of dealing with lead and arsenic poisoning. So, why are people targeting the bottled water industry? An industry where 90% of the companies are small, family-owned businesses? It doesn't make any sense to me especially when buying local and supporting small businesses is inherent to our economic survival.

Anyway, I hadn't thought about the water bottle issue recently until last night when I was enjoying the den of inequities on Facebook, when that annoying Bill McKibben hanger-on, Ruchi, intruded my bliss and Facebooked a message to Beth Terry, of Fake Plastic Fish fame, about some scurrying going on in the comments of her blog. Not one to miss out on the hubbub, I checked out Beth's post. And, wouldn't you know it, it's about bottled water.

After the eye-rolling stopped long enough so I could actually read her post, I started going through the comments, which were filled with the usual pap, high-fiving comments in agreement that the "big" business bottled water industry was bad.

Before I get too far, let me back up and say that I don't drink much bottled water. Really, none, if I can help it, mostly because I'm cheap and don't like to pay for something I can get for free. But, I just don't get the whole crucifixion of the bottled water industry. And then, I started reading some rather informative arguments by a commenter from the IBWA. Now, I really do feel for people who suffer from Irritable Bowel With Anal-leakage (IBWA), because that has to be an uncomfortable condition to live with, so, right off the bat, he had my attention.

He argued (among other strong points that you'll have to read in the comments of the original post) that, "blogs like yours should encourage more recycling and not discourage consumption of water — in any form. Water is fundamentally good for all people. We live in a busy world and have bottled water there when you want, regardless of what you are doing, is always a plus. If people are going to a vending machine, what should they buy? What item in the vending machine is not made of plastic? Since it all must be recycled, why pick on the healthiest beverage available, namely bottled water?" Damn straight. Why pick on water when there's plenty of other mean beverages out there?

After much pondering on the matter, I decided to state my change of view on drinking bottled water. In fact, his other, convincing arguments changed my whole opinion on plastic consumption altogether. Well, it's easier to understand my point of view if you just read the response I posted in the comments:

Normally, I just drink tap water. I think it tastes great. When I’m at home I drink straight from the tap since I don’t like the filtered water from my GE Profile fridge because the water is too cold. When I’m at work I drink the water from the kitchen sink. I am generally never at a loss for cups, mugs, or portable containers to fill said water from the tap.

But, after reading all these compelling arguments from Tom, I’ve decided that, perhaps, I’m going about it all wrong. So, starting tomorrow, I’m going to start drinking bottled water. I want to help support family businesses. And, now I’m really scared that I’m going to get H1N1 from the kitchen sink at work. I heard that Fiji water is the best, so I’m going to try to find out where they sell it in my area. I don’t believe it’s a family company, but the bottles are really cool.

In fact, I’m so excited about drinking bottled water and its positive effects on my life and others, I think that the health benefits of drinking bottled water alone are not enough. Because of this, I’m going to not only recycle the bottles when I’m done drinking the delicious, chlorine-free water, but I am going to eat them. I suspect that the extra fiber in the plastic bottles will help contribute to my overall bowel health. Which is always a positive in my book. Does anyone know if digested plastic will clog my pipes?

I’m thinking that just plain water in the plastic bottles isn’t good enough, so I’m also looking for a company that sells liquid plastic in plastic bottles to help quench my thirst. Does anyone know if such a product exists? I don’t need flavored liquid plastic, just plain liquid plastic will do.

I’m so excited about the thirst quenching satisfaction that my new lifestyle will afford me, I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

So, I hope that, you too, decide to drink more bottled water. And consume more plastic if you can. Because bottled water really is the first, true, thirst mutilator.

36 comments:

novemberjuliet said...

you are such a brat. I love it!

sarah gilbert , cafemama said...

oh! silly. fiji water IS a family company. that family owns nearly all the almond and orange orchards in california, a pesticide company or two, and water rights paid for by the taxpayers of california. but they're a family. so you should buy even MORE.

Elizabeth B said...

Bahahaha! Win! :D

Beany said...

Hahaha! Brilliant!

Lil said...

Hmmm... My limited understanding of english language seems to prevent me from fully understanding if you're kidding or not.
Still wondering.

De in D.C. said...

I was about to check the calendar to see if I'd fallen asleep for 6mos and it was really April 1, until I read your posted comment. And obviously, since you present such a rational and well thought-out argument, well of course you couldn't be joking ;)

Sandy said...

I love it when smart environmentalist chicks get snarky. Well done! Great post!

Vegan Burnout said...

Oh, how the snark warms my black little heart. Thanks for making my morning. :)

The Raven said...

And we should eat more foods with preservatives if we want to make our bodies last longer. If we preserve enough, we'll live forever.

Anonymous said...

I was really getting concerned and very confused there for a minute! wow! your crazy!

Tony R. said...

I had to scroll back to the top to make sure I was reading the right blog! I work for the local water company and we sell tap water at a rate of $1.50 per 1000 gals... that means the mark up on a 12oz bottle of water is 100000%+

Lisa said...

Oh, I do love a well deserved snarky comment!

Carrie Oliver said...

Your snark inspired me to visit the post. Fascinating. Makes me want to go on a mini-rant about a related phenomenon, fruits & vegetables wrapped in plastic. Organic fruits & vegetables. Grr.

Green Bean said...

Thank you, Crunchy, for shedding some light on this. I suppose I shall ditch the filter on the faucet and head out for some Fiji myself.

Robj98168 said...

THE CRUNCHY CHICKEN bought to yo by Nestle's.

Ms.Crunchy's carbon footprint just went through the roof! Enjoy munching on those bottles Crunch- I heard they are good with a nice chianti.

ruchi said...

Oh my gosh, I'm DYING here.

Guess I better find me some Fiji.

- The Annoying Bill McKibben hanger-on (Now With 70% More Plastic)

FernWise said...

After I finish cleaning the spewed coffee from my monitor, I will start a campaign for a required standard font for sarcasm/satire.

Frondly, Fern

Crunchy Chicken said...

I can't tell if this guy has a sense of humor, or if he's really just got something loose in the frontal cortex. Here's his response:

"Dear Chicken: The FDA recommends consumers not eat plastic bottles, utensils or containers. There is no known nutritional value and you are removing valuable material from the recycling stream. Let me know where yoyu live and I'll refer you to a family-owned water bottler, but be advised that they, too, will admonish you against eating the water container."

Unfortunately, based on his other comments, methinks he is serious.

Jenn said...

ha!

Cottage in the City! said...

That is crazy, you crack me up!

Rosa said...

okay, that response is AWESOME.

We totally only have to worry about the safety of packaging if we actually eat it. Just like we only have to worry about lead paint if our kids eat the chips!

(I shouldn't joke about that, when we were doing lead remediation, people actually said that to us a lot. I figure it was the Lead-Paint Lobby Talking Point of the '70s, or something.)

motheralice said...

It may not be nice to make someone snort in their coffee, but it's awfully funny... ;)

Erika said...

WOW... I was a bit nervous when you started the post, but by the end, I could taste the sarcasm running out of the bottles! Lovely post, comment, and best wishes on replying to TL... LOL

--Erika

Fake Plastic Fish said...

So funny that you linked to Brawndo. My husband actually bought a bottle once just because he couldn't resist the name.

I wondered if he was joking or serious, too, in his comment back to you. Now that I read it again, I think he has a dry sense of humor like you. I really hope that's it, anyway.

So now that we can back off the bottled water industry, whatever will we do with all the extra time?

Oh, and I hope your readers will actually comment on the blog post. We can't let him get away with this crap.

inadvertent farmer said...

First time visitor...still chuckling! Nothing like a smart a$$ to make me laugh! Kim

Kerri said...

My heart sank a little when I began reading this, and then my snark-o-meter kicked in. Thankfully.

I never really understood the bottled water obsession. Yes, I've occasionally bought some, and those occasions were when my options were pass out from dehydration, or buy the stupid water wrapped in plastic.

Anyway, the sarcasm made my day.

Amber said...

And to THINK, I was rolling my eyes at Tom. But you, you have really opened my eyes. I wonder if I can artificial colouring, flavouring, and vitamins in my plastic. Because then I might not even need to eat anything else, either. Mmmm...good! ;)

Farmer's Daughter said...

You forgot the part I would add "La la la! What would I do if I didn't have companies to tell me what to do! La la la!"

Renee said...

You almost had me there!

Fr. Peter Doodes said...

Why stop at bottled water CC?

Don't you realise just how polluted the air (especially in Seattle) is? What is needed is a personal supply of pure and clean 'Organic C02'.

I am going to start a business exporting this to the world, by filtering and bottling air from the remote wilds of Scotland drawn off from over deep sourced fresh mountain springs.

I will use plastic bottles, naturally, and these will need to be very thick and dense (as well as unrecycleable) in order to take the extreme pressure of the compressed "Organic Eco-air". Do you like the title?

Why didn't I think of this earlier? I could be the next Bill Gates!

Must dash, as I am just off to register the name....

Sharlene said...

Okay I was scared there for a moment. Whew!

Green Fundraising Ideas said...

Ok, I was seriously **Gasping** at this post until I read further. Pretty funny..

Plastic bags and plastic water....really just bad habits that need to be broken. Why can't people just go back to swearing to feed their bad habit fix!

Jeanne

Michelle said...

Guess the countertop filtration thingy I bought a couple weeks ago was a huge waste of money... Ha ha, April Fools' Day in October! In the first couple paragraphs I thought you were serious and wondered how it could possibly be, lol! Snarkiness wins!!!

Notwasted said...

Totally...water privatization did wonders for Argentina and Africa.

Neo@ said...

It doesn't seem logic to me that we drink a bottled water in 5 minutes and that bottle stays for more than 100 years making harm to the planet, just because you were lazy enough to bring your own reusable water container.

Canada Guy said...

We all know disposable water bottles are wasteful and bad for the environment, yet their production is growing rapidly everywhere. Just 20 years ago the market for plastic water bottles was practically nonexistent, but today we produce billions of these completely unnecessary products. There can be only one sane response, plastic water bottles must be banned!

http://www.selfdestructivebastards.com/2009/10/water-bottle-manifesto.html

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