Blog Update!
For those of you not following me on Facebook, as of the Summer of 2019 I've moved to Central WA, to a tiny mountain town of less than 1,000 people.

I will be covering my exploits here in the Cascades, as I try to further reduce my impact on the environment. With the same attitude, just at a higher altitude!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Farewell to Bush fantasy

Polar bear vs. PresidentI was just reading about how President Bush is limiting the protections on polar bears as he makes his way out of office. Basically, he is denying America’s vanishing polar bears some desperately needed protections under the Endangered Species Act (ESA). And then later in the day yesterday, he finalized new ESA regulations that cut huge holes in the safety net that protects wolves, polar bears and other animals and plants in danger of becoming extinct.

According to the Defenders of Wildlife, polar bears are drowning and starving to death as the sea ice they need to survive disappears. Scientists at the U.S. Geological Survey say that polar bears could disappear from Alaska within the next 50 years.

So, while I was looking at the accompanying pictures of these beautiful polar bears, the thought occurred to me: wouldn't it be kinda fun to put George Bush together alone with a polar bear? And wouldn't it be interesting if somehow the bear knew what he had done and just see what happens? Kind of like a Polar Bear vs. President Bush cage match.

I know this sounds horribly cruel and petty and I know at least 5 of you will comment on how childish I am, but, hey! It's my fantasy! No one's getting hurt. Only, in real life, the polar bears are getting decimated. That's what's horribly cruel and petty.

Anyway, since this is a moderately entertaining thought experiment, I thought I'd open it up for you to submit your favorite fantasy with President Bush. And I'm not talking about bondage or anything that will make me want to hurl. No, really, a lot of you have some bad vibes about the outgoing president. What would you subject him to in your fantasy, based on what he's done in office?


A Lady said...

I don't know if you've been following The Onion's series of catastrophic Bush mishaps that they've been rolling out lately, but this one is my favorite:

Robj98168 said...

My fantasy is to make the man live the rest of his life with no more than minimum wage, and to earn it he has to be a walmart greeter. Or scrape the gum off the floor of The Baseball stadium at arlington, so at least he could watch his beloved rangers. Or maybe one of the Bush Twins could marry a kennedy. Does Obama have a brother?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was really cute when I first saw it! Very clever. No offense taken at all. :)

Anonymous said...

Our polar bears in Canada are not faring much better either. There's just not enough ice for them anymore...which is rather strange considering how much snow I currently have in my yard!!! I know global warming exists, I just can't see it out my front window at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Bushy. Well. Frankly, instead of wishing him all sorts of terrible things, I'd rather he just continued to live on and on and on (in obscurity, of course) and personally experience the outcome of any and every bad decision he made. I think a lot of these people don't care about these things because THEY won't be here. But if everyone was guaranteed to live 200 or 500 years. Well, a totally different story.

Lisa Zahn said...

Your photo and fantasy are certainly far less petty and cruel than the man himself has been.

Ashley said...

I just want him to go away, some place where I don't hear about him. And, maybe the only food and drink he gets is modified, cloned and genetically engineered!

Gretchen said...

Wow, that is really sad about the Polar Bears. But, I'm wondering, do you know why GW limited the protection for polar bears? I don't, so I'm gonna go check into it. But, PLEASE, I'm sure he didn't do it just to piss people off. I'm sure he didn't do it just to kill off Polar Bears. C'mon, Crunchy, are you really that much of a pessimist that you can't see a positive side of anyone who has crossed your path the wrong way?

I know you may not like GW or his policies or some of his decisions, but please do admit - it must be possible the GW is trying to do some good (even though we don't see it) in this legislation.

Is it possible that the protections for polar bears are possibly inhibiting the protection of people? Is it possible that lifting these limitations has anything to do with getting oil from the US instead of overseas, therefore helping the economy? Is it possible that the Polar Bears are posing a threat to some other endangered species, like fish or seals? I'm just sayin' - it's your blog and you have the right to say anything you want. But it would be great to see some balance in the rebuplican-bashing every once in a while.

Okay, off to find out that story and I may be back to share if I find interesting info.

KLund said...

Well, how 'bout working for $3.35 an hour as a waiter at IHOP, relying on tips to help support his family. And then trying to get any kind of grants or help to go to college.

How 'bout himself or his daughters being sent to Afghanistan or Iraq to fight as infantrymen.

And then the government can have a say in everything he does and listen in on his phone calls and bug his home and read his mail.

How 'bout he now can't afford to eat good healthy food, gets fat, bad skin, health problems and has no health insurance and can't afford to go to the doctor.

And then his credit card gets declined at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries because his credit card company decided to lower his limit for no reason, it gets maxed out, he's overwhelmed with bills and can't file bankruptcy because the credit card companies now have all the rights, even though with all the interest and making only minimum payments his cards have been paid for over and over again.

Then he gets a little bit better job and it gets outsourced over seas and now he's unemployed and loses everything he has, sleeps in his car, it gets repoed and now he has to live at the mission.

Did I miss anything?

Alison Kerr said...

The question is, what have we learned from Bush policy that can help us to be better people?

Green Bean said...

My heart just breaks for the polar bears, the wolves and all the other creatures affected by the gutting of the ESA. I agree with one commenter - let his punishment be to live and see the effects of his decisions.

Anonymous said...

Ah - KLund... It would appear that in your desire to see the President get fat and max his credit cards that you would like him to live like many Americans. Perhaps he can also deny responsibility like some many others have done. By the by, eating healthy does not need to cost any more than eating poorly.

Cave-Woman said...

One of the scariest parts of that proposed legislation is that local data would not be accepted as evidence of any global occurence (i.e. global warming). Has washington never heard of a "sample" data? *sigh*

Michael said...

The twins should have been sent to Iraq a long time ago. _Infantry._ After all, why should the underprivileged have all the fun???

There are an awful lot of us who wish things upon dumbya and his cronies that we dare not speak or write for fear of a visit from the secret service.

Miss Sub said...

Anonymous, actually, eating healthy does cost more than not. I don't buy myself cookies or ice cream or any of those things but I do have a cupboard full of things like Mac and Cheese and Top Ramen and I have to buy Oven Joy bread. If you have a solution, give it to me. But let me tell you, it takes A LOT of fruits and vegetables to fill me up. And those add up.

Texas Mama,
You're right. I don't think George is outright mean. But I do think that he is selfish and looks for the easiest route instead of taking a path that requires change on our part.

Peak Oil Hausfrau said...

I hope that one day Bush actually realizes what he has done and has to accept responsibility for it, in his mind. I hope he has to feel all the suffering he has caused, in his heart. But I doubt it. He'll spend his days thinking what good intentions he had, and how he was so misunderstood, how he tried really hard, and how he was dealt a bad hand.

Rationalizations never cease. Witness the people who voted for him STILL trying to give him credit after all these years. Some of them still have their Bush/Cheney bumperstickers on.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to burst some bubbles, but this is not a warm-and-fuzzy thing. This is yet another story of the environment being sacrificed on the alter of mankind's selfish desires, specifically those of Big Business. The people that benefit from this are developers who want to develop land (or water, I guess) where the ESA has jurisdiction. As the ESA currently requires, scientists and biologists are consulted to determine whether a proposed project will harm endangered species habitat. The new, more lax rules, allow for government bureaucrats to make this call without being required to consult scientists (who are the only people qualified to make this call).
It helps developers, and the agencies that support them. Score another one for Big Business! Having to tailor the expansion of human society so as to not adversely effect other species is too expensive, and wastes time, evidently. Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart?

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot my fantasy:
I would like for him to be stuck on an iceberg in the Arctic Ocean. Then, when it melts, he has to swim for 50-60 miles. Then, a hungry polar bear eats him and his last thought is that his death is helping an endangered animal.

psuklinkie said...

Bush fantasy: none.
He's so sad. He must realize how poorly he run the country. I can only feel bad for him -- I don't wish any revenge on him.

Unknown said...

Ummmm, I am just passing through, but I wanted to mention something mainstrem media will not report.
Polar Bears have historically migrated back and forth from Canada to Alaska. Right now, our population is rising, while Canada's is supposedly dwindling....
The latest “computer models” from global warming scientists show
that global warming will be in retreat at least until 2015.

Combined with the fact that there has been no global warming
since the peak year of 1998, even Climate Alarmist scientists
are being forced to recognize that we could be looking at
nearly a two-decade hiatus from global warming.

For the record, here’s the history of global warming back to
1940 and projected through 2015:

1940-1974 (34 years) — global cooling
1975-1998 (23 years) — global warming
1999-2015 (17 years) — temperatures level then cool
History speaks for itself.
Please don’t bash. I am just sharing historical facts.

TDP said...

History books will record what Bush and his administration has done, and it will be harder to escape the decisions and deceits when it is put in the context of how the country was before and at the start of the crash of the economy. Herbert Hoover, no matter what good things or intentions he had, has the legacy of Hoovervilles, and ineptitude in the official record of American History. Bush, like Nixon, will go on into the end of his life believing he did a good job. He will forget his arrogance and his crass cowboy diplomacy. He will feel that he delivered what he was supposed to to his BASE- Wealthy businessmen. And he did and continues to do it. He may eventually regret the crowd that he had around him, whose tune he danced to, and over time blame them should any guilt seep in.

I have no fantasy for him. If folks are right about what happens when you die, he may then see what he has done and the effects of it on others. Until then, guys like him never come to see the light, and live out their days feeling miscast and misunderstood. They never realize that tho their heart is in the right place, its only their actions that are visible to others. My Pop is the same way, tho His heart was never in the right place. Alas.

Anonymous said...

What does that man have against the enviroment? the eco-system? and living creatures?

Robj98168 ... I love your brilliance!

Latte said...

Actually global warming is a farce!

Oh and if nature is limiting/killing animals...why would we try and save them? Nature is taking into action it's own population we don't all get eaten...


Anonymous said...

I would send him into combat in Iraq in a heartbeat. Ya know, just so he could defend with his life what he's been defending with his mouth for the last five years.

The Hipster Homegirl said...

Steve and Paula,
As a scientist, I have to disagree with your logic. When you talk about global warming, you have to look at it in global terms. The Earth doesn't live in years and decades or even centuries (it's very human to think of it that way). It lives in millennia and epochs. You can't look at the temperature in terms of what has happened in your lifetime. Weather is too unpredictable. In years where el nino is present in the pacific we have unusually warm winters, but that isn't global warming. If you look at the temperature over the past thousand years, it has been gradually getting warmer and warmer. Normal climate fluctuations have been a part of the earth's history for as long as the earth has had a stable climate. We are coming out of the last ice age and will continue to get warmer regardless of green house emissions until it gets so warm that we revert back to the next ice age. The earth's temperature is indeed getting warmer, I don't argue with that. However, all the evidence indicates that the human activity is merely helping it along it's path.

Please don't bash me, I am not saying we shouldn't cut down on greenhouse emissions, we should. I'm just saying that the earth is going to get warmer in spite of our best efforts, it's just a case of whether our grandchildren will feel the repercussions or their great-grandchildren.

Crunchy Chicken said...

Heather - As a scientist as well, I think of Earth's history in terms of billions of years and human history as expanding 65 million years, going back to the root of mammalian evolution.

As you point out, it is definitely true that the Earth has periods of warming and cooling and that we are still coming out of the last ice age (the end of the last glacial period was about 12,500 years ago, which is what most people think about when they think of an ice age, that is ice sheets covering a large portion of the Earth).

Where we most likely disagree is the extent to whether human's help in warming the planet is "merely helping" or overwhelmingly pushing us quickly up the hockey stick of temperature ranges.

By the way, (this is directed to no one in particular) one of my favorite quick primers on climate change is from the New Scientist. It's kept up to date with the most recent findings, but isn't too overwhelming so that any lay person can read it.

Tina Cardone said...

Someone decided fantasizing wasn't enough!

I think you caused this ;)

The Hipster Homegirl said...

I do agree with you on this..we need to change the way we are living or our children will have to live with our mistakes forever. And btw, I love your blog!!

Anonymous said...

Good grief:-( I am not happy with the President's decisions regarding polar bears, but it's at LEAST as horrible to wish harm or even death on another human being. He may not have made the right decision but he didn't make it alone. All by themselves a polar bear would decide to maul and eat any one of us without consulting even one analyst or committee. By the way, there are plenty of democrat administration decisions out there that have caused great harm to not just nature but humans as well. Why stop at wishing horrors on President Bush? Shameful.

Anonymous said...

Typical Democrats. Always looking to put the blame on others for their lot in life. Wishing harm on our President is disgusting. I guarantee in 4 years or even 8 that you will all be in the same boat as you are now. What a bitter bunch.

It is your Democratic right to criticize the President but to wish him harm and even death is crossing the line.

Do any of you not take ANY personal responsibility for your situation? Or do you just expect some hand outs from the Government?

Give 10 Democrats $10,000 and also give 10 Republicans $10,000 and follow up in a year. The Dem's are still in the same boat, in debt and no longer have the money.

The Republicans still have the money and some.

Crunchy Chicken said...

Karen and anonymous - I can't believe you honestly think that I'm wishing President Bush (or anyone, really) gets mauled by a polar bear. Get a grip!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Crunchy Chicken said...

Anonymous - Thank you for illustrating precisely why I closed the comments on that post.

For those of you who insist on hijacking other posts with your rants and for those of you who insist on emailing me directly with your personal attacks, the topic is closed. I have no interest in getting in a pissing match over the post.

Your assertions have gone so far off the original point I was making that it's ridiculous to even attempt to address your far-fetched accusations. If you continue to feel the need to foam at the mouth over this, I'll start deleting your comments.

However, if readers would like to engage in a rational conversation on fertility, feel free to let me know and we can have an open discussion in a new post. Although, based on the behavior I've seen so far, I suspect "rational" doesn't oftentimes come into play in regards to fertility.