Blog Update!
For those of you not following me on Facebook, as of the Summer of 2019 I've moved to Central WA, to a tiny mountain town of less than 1,000 people.

I will be covering my exploits here in the Cascades, as I try to further reduce my impact on the environment. With the same attitude, just at a higher altitude!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Hot new accessory!

Hairwax NecklaceI've been getting a lot of press releases in my email lately and, even though I generally don't like to endorse products, I wanted to share the latest with you. I'm really sick of the green washing going on with most products but this one is different. It's a great example of the three Rs: remove, reuse and recycle.

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New York, NY (5 June 2008) -- Greenalicious.com expands their faux!Green line of eco-chic accessories with the addition of the highly anticipated new summer style -- The Hairwax Necklace.

The Hairwax Necklace is made from naturally derived, eco-friendly materials that are a byproduct of the hair waxing industry. Choosing only the finest in natural waxes is the first step in ensuring a quality product. Given the increase in demand for bikini and Brazilian waxes, salons across the country have been faced with the issue of how to dispose of the used wax.

Tabitha JonesTabitha Jones, owner of the WaxOn WaxOff salon in Houston, Texas is extremely supportive of the new line of jewelry.

We have seemingly tons of waste wax product to dispose of each month. But we can't reuse the wax on our other customers, so it goes in the garbage. We are proud to be able to help contribute to this great product and are ecstatic that a portion of the proceeds goes to help kids with alopecia.

Each necklace has nuanced color, with an amber glow. Depending on the hair color of the wax donor there are speckles of blonde, black and red that are highlighted in the sun. It really is a breathtaking work of art.

HairWax ExtralongAfter an enthusiastic consumer response to the faux!Green Bracelet, Greenalicious.com is now poised to introduce the new style to their fans and supporters. The new style is fashion driven, and made with the highest grade of environmental consciousness. "We trust that our faux!Green collection will demonstrate to consumers that it is fun and fashionable to choose green."

About Greenalicious.com:
Greenalicious.com is a dedicated leader in developing cost-efficient green solutions for businesses as well as individuals of all ages. Founded on the commitment to ending further damage to our environment, Greenalicious.com serves as an informative destination website providing up-to-date news, green methods, products, and more with the mission to encourage people to take part in preserving the beautiful world we've inherited so that generations to come can live happier, healthier lives on a cleaner, greener planet.

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Wow, I best go get my ass waxed!

Hold on a minute. This sounds like a great home project. I have an awesome sugaring recipe that I could use. I bet that adding in some quick-harden polymer powder into the used wax will achieve the same results.

And then I could sell my hairball jewelry on Etsy. I know of at least a few individuals who read this blog that would buy one.

Crunchy Chicken's Nuggets. Yeah.

47 comments:

ruchi said...

I'm very very scared now.

Green Bean said...

Um, I feel kind of sick. Gotta run.

Crunchy Tribute said...

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Robj98168 said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh I wanna bikini wax necklace

Tara said...

Oh. This is just too strange.

Burbanmom said...

Uh, yeah. I'll pass on this one.

Anonymous said...

Pretty! I can haz it pleez?

United Studies said...

Ummm...does this include the used wax, with the hair in it?? I think I would puke...

Anna said...

Eeewwww; who would even think of this? Yuckola.

Anonymous said...

hmmmm, thinking I'll stay uncool...that is one hot new accessory I can live greenly without! - Yucko

Anonymous said...

I don't think I want this jewellery at all. EWWWWWWWW.

die Frau said...

There's such a thing as "going too far". The one necklace is oddly pretty, but what do you say when people ask where you got it?

[shudder]

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm a waxologist and do 15-20 brazilians a day. My comment on this? Ewwwwww!!!!!

I could see composting bio-degradeable waxing product like maybe sugar/honey stuff. After all it's keratin and proteins that you are waxing off but jewelry? NOT

Anonymous said...

It's wax and pubic hair...what more could you want? The slogans write themselves. Tired of having to hide your pubes away? Now you can wear them in style.

Ashley // Our Little Apartment said...

Is that a joke?

Wow.

Greenpa said...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about your out of the box thinking!!

I'm inspired.

Marketing genius. They laughed at gummy worms, remember- the market for "EWW GROSSS!" is really quite huge. :-)

Greenpa said...

I would think candles would be a natural, too.

"Hm, what is that aroma?"...

KatieB said...

This seems like an April 1st kind of post.

This is just too nasty to consider. I am constantly amazed at what people will spend money on.

Yuck.

Wendy said...

Okay ... eww!

Melanie J. said...

Please tell me this is satire ::shudders:: I'm guessing so, since none of the links work. Whew!

hoorayparade said...

ok. there is something weird about this. Every link I clicked on went to a not registered domain.

Is there some leg pulling going on?

Jenette said...

OMG! Pubic hair necklace!?! Eeewwww!

Katie said...

If it's not a joke (and I can't see how it isn't), they should be marketing it on fetish websites, or at least Craigslist Erotic Services. It's like one step more perverted than buying worn underpants. Pubic-hair-in-Coke-dropper Clarence Thomas could be their spokesperson. I'll stop now, I could go on and on...

Crunchy Chicken said...

Well, yes, I have to admit this was a joke. But it is based on an actual press release I got yesterday for necklaces made out of cornstarch resin. Or something.

Of course, given my twisted brain stem, I immediately thought of this fabulous idea! Somehow both appalling and appealing at the same time.

I think it would be great as a Saturday Night Live skit.

Thanks for putting up with my goofiness. And, just know not to always trust my posts on Fridays!

Anonymous said...

Hi Crunchy,
You know there are 4 Rs: refuse, remove (or reduce), reuse and recycle.

The refusing R (the most important I think) often gets lost. If you refuse more - as you are doing - all the others diminish, too.
Eva

Anonymous said...

I've been getting a whole lot of those emails lately, too. Though somehow this one I missed. LOL. Dis-gust-ing! You truly are an original, Crunchy!

Melissa said...

wow, I am really glad this is a joke.

Anonymous said...

Thanks. I've completely lost my credibility. You would have to post THIS on the day we decide to launch the Crunchy Tribute. Now no one will ever believe me again when I tell them about another blogger they ought to check out.

Or maybe my readers are all as twisted as you are. You are one of them, after all!

Still, I don't know why everyone is getting all grossed about about a little pube wax. I think it could be pretty.

Crunchy Chicken said...

Beth - Well, seein' as though no on told me I was getting a tribute, I was just carrying on my normal business.

Just be glad I didn't repost that video of Greenpa shaving a donkey... that would have really scared off your readers!

Anonymous said...

i'm not sure how i feel about wearing a pube necklace... it's kind of like getting a pearl necklace. except way grosser :P

Anonymous said...

geeze, you had me going there for a few seconds. Good one!

Robj98168 said...

WHy greenpa shave donkey?? why greenpa why?

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should start calling you The Crunchy Onion.... Hmmmm....

Jenn said...

That's so hilarious - I knew it had to be a hoax. very well done!

Anonymous said...

Damned comments. I was excited about the RRR for a few minutes, no matter how digusting it might have sounded. Hey, my neighbor lady (a very non-creepy person) had 3 dogs. She seriously saved each brushing of each dog. She is trying to make yawn out of the hair. I kid you not. I was all grossed out when she told me, but it wasn't that different from sheering sheep, was it? Hair is hair?

ruchi said...

Uh, by the way, your tag line, "like reality tv but less dirty?" Let's be fair here. You are WAY dirtier than reality tv.

Also, slacker, where is your movie poster? Sheesh, it's like you expect us to do all the work when we throw you a tribute party!

Crunchy Chicken said...

arduous - I didn't write the quote about my blog... but you are correct. I am way dirtier than reality TV.

As for the movie poster, give me a break, I haven't had time yet :)

Chile said...

All I can say is there's a sucker born every minute. Can't believe people fell for this one. 'Tad more mainstream next time, Crunchikins, and you could make a fortune!

Anonymous said...

Sad to say, Ms. Crunchy, that when you consider so many of the bizarro items that ARE on the market, your brainstorm seems acceptable.
I must say you do seem to be a very sick individual. I mean that as a compliment of course. The post had me wondering just what the ingredients
could possible be {I couldn't imagine the obvious} and how they would be stabilized.
But that begs the question, and here's my offering of a challenge for this week: Crunchy Fans, now that we know just what crisis exists in the Brazilian Ceric Realms of Lost Pendejos, what serious suggestions do you all have for those precious bodily fluids?
So far, I think Crunchy has set the inspiration bar very high.
I love this blog: so many Voltairian digressions!

Crunchy Chicken said...

chile - hindsight is always 20/20. And don't tell me you weren't in the least bit intrigued.

RC - I'd make a suggestion, no offense, but WTF are you talking about?

Anonymous said...

Ms. Crunchy, you are not the first to ask me that question.

Anonymous said...

Darn, I wish I'd known about this last week when the cat was so sick -- I could have made a contribution! Instead, all those hairballs and other, um, "goodies" sadly had to go the landfill as "single use" items...

Chile said...

Sorry, but I have to tell you, "I wasn't in the least bit intrigued." I did click on the links, though, mostly to confirm that, yes, she's pullin' a fast one.

But no, not intrigued. Well, maybe in the sense of, "I can't believe she's actually sayin' this stuff!" ;-P

Anonymous said...

Laughed out loud on that one! Clever :)

April said...

What the? Why? Seriously, who?

Anonymous said...

I'm looking at the date checking it's not April 1 ....

I'm with all the eeeeew people. Count me out.

hmmm said...

Thanks for letting me know this was a fake. I had a good laugh. I really like reading your blog, you are so funny! I also like your point of view on things. its unique and witty. :) Keep on blogging!