Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Dealing with death

I'd like to pretend as if I could just continue posting as if nothing is going on in my life right now, but I can't. The last week has been a horrible one and I can't not talk about it.

Last Tuesday I found out that my Dad had a heart attack while driving home. He hit the car in front of him and the other driver called 911 when he saw my Dad. The EMTs had to break the window to get him out before they could administer CPR.

To make a very long story short, he is in a coma. It took too long for them to get to him and start CPR and he has lost all of his upper brain function. Last night they took out the ventilator and he is breathing on his own. There is no hope that he will wake up. It is only a matter of time before he passes.

Right now, he'd normally be reading this post. He and I didn't always agree on the things I write about and when he saw something he disagreed with he always let me know. It was good to get a different perspective from someone on the other side of the aisle, just to keep that in mind when I approach an issue.

We had a lot in common too, the pictures in this post are of his beloved banana plants and the orchids he doted on in his San Diego backyard. He also took loving care of a family of hummingbirds that lived among his tropical oasis.

You can see more of his plants, hummingbirds and backyard in this video I did on Backyard Tropical Fruit Trees from two years ago. He coached me on many of the details I shared regarding the banana plants. It was also the last time I saw him.

We've had a complicated relationship over the years, one that got substantially better since I had kids. He was always great about making sure he didn't forget about their birthdays and Christmas and made sure he got them exactly what they wanted, which meant a lot to me. I didn't tell him often enough and I hope he knew that.

He will be severely missed. I love you Dad.

68 comments:

Brandie said...

I'm sorry to read this news. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Deanna said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so very sorry.

Good Girl Gone Green said...

I am so sorry Deanna to hear about your Dad! I will be thinking about you! Big hugs to you.

Kim said...

I am so sorry. Your family continues to be in my thoughts.

Heather said...

I am so sorry. I hope that you are able to have some peace during this troubled time.

Laura said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in our thoughts.

Amy said...

Praying for your family.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry for you and the rest of your family. Hugs...

risa bear said...

We thank him for you.

Donna said...

My heart goes out to you. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Kathy said...

I just lit a candle for you and your dad. May the universe hold you close right now.

Lauriel said...

I'm sorry. Loosing someone is never easy. Hugs and kind thoughts in your direction!

Lise said...

I'm so sorry.

Green Bean said...

I'm so sorry, Deanna! Big bloggy hugs and thinking of you and your family at this time.

Mama Kautz said...

Deanna. I am so sorry! I know words are words. They don't change what has happened. I will be praying for you. I am on the grief journey myself. My mom died on september 19th. Hugs to you!

Theresa said...

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Your heartfelt words honor him greatly. Sending many hugs and comforting thoughts to you and yours, Deanna.

Maria said...

Many hugs and prayers coming your way. Know that you are not alone.

Tanya @ Lovely Greens said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frogdancer said...

I'm so sorry.

Tanya @ Lovely Greens said...

Am so sorry Deanna...sending positive thoughts your way!

Dani said...

Beaming you with some light, Deanna. This is such a tough marker event, and a tough season to face it.

Amy in Tacoma said...

I'm so sorry, Deanna. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

queen of string said...

That's terribly sad.The sort of thing your Dad is unlikely to have known anything about, fortunately. You are in my thoughts

red fraggle said...

I am thinking of you. Be gentle with yourself right now and in the days to come. Grief lasts forever but it changes and your dad is a part of you as you are of him. Forever.

Laura said...

Deanna, I'm just so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Glenda said...

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Not forgetting your kids on their birthdays and at Christmas and getting them exactly what they want is, indeed, a wonderful thing. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

Glenda

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

I know the hurt and sorrow you feel. You have true faith knowing that your Dad is passing and not dying. His love and his memory will be forever in your heart and soul and in your children's.
GOD bless you and your Father during this time of grief and pain.

Sarah C said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this. My prayers are with your family and your father.

CitricSugar said...

I'm so sorry. I'll add your family to my prayers and hope that you find peace and healing despite the terrible loss.

Much love.

Chile said...

I'm so sorry. No matter what the relationship with a parent, it is very, very hard to lose them.

Allie said...

I'm so sorry to hear it. You're in my thoughts.

The 4 Bushel Farmgal said...

Your and your family will be in my prayers. Wishing you peace.

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

So sorry. Thinking of you.

Brad K. said...

I pray for solace for you and yours.

Blessed be.

Lisa said...

:'( My heart sends comfort & support to yours.

Robj98168 said...

I am so sorry- Having gone through this myself I know how hard it is. But rest assuredm you and your wonderful family are always in my thoughts.

Aimee said...

What a terrible thing. I hope your father has an easy passing, and that you and your family have a chance to say goodbye. Bless you!

rosiemomma said...

Adding my name to the list of those praying for and thinking of you. Be gently with yourself as you walk through this.

Bee Girl said...

Oh no. Losing a parent is a horrible thing. Please be kind to yourself and try to find some comfort in his peace. He will always be with you in spirit. You can count on that.

Miriam said...

Thank you for sharing your life with us, even this really difficult part. I will be thinking of you and your dad. And thank you for giving us all a chance to seize the moment to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us.

Melonie said...

So sorry to hear this - we'll be thinking of your family and your Dad's friends. (hugs) and prayers.

Everydaywoman said...

Thinking of you and your whole family right now. And I'm sure he knew . . .

Gigi said...

So sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

freakpink said...

So sorry to hear about your Dad. It has been a rough year for losing loved ones before their time. Sending love and light your way.

Peak Oil Hausfrau said...

I hope your father has an easy passing. We'll be thinking of you and your family.

Surviving and thriving on pennies said...

Nothing I can say or do will make things better. But know that you are loved by many and there are thousands of prayers coming your way. LIghting a candle and sending warm thoughts your way in this time in need. I hope your father passes with ease and in no pain.

Greenpa said...

Oh, my dear Deanna. What a shock, too. You've had more than your share, it seems. Hugs.

Cheri said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is so hard. Glad to see you write about it! When my mom died, talking about it (for me) was a real help to process the pain. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Leta said...

I am so sorry. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Dmarie said...

what a tragic turn of events in your family. Bless you and yours as you deal with this heartbreaking ordeal.

Daryl at Vermont Cottage said...

I am so sorry to hear you're going through this right now. You're in my thoughts, as is all your family. Take good care of yourself at this very stressful time.

Hazel said...

I'm so sorry Deanna. I'll be thinking of you and your family. We lost DH's mother this year- it's hard, even if you didn't always see eye to eye.

Sustainable Eats said...

Deanna I'm so sorry you didn't get to say goodbye. My mother died suddenly years ago and I've mourned for just five minutes with her ever since. It's hard. Hug your kids for him, and then pull up your best childhood memory of him. xo, Annette

evervescence said...

Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal event in your life with us readers. I'm so sorry about your Dad. I can only imagine what you must be going through. May you find peace and comfort during this difficult time. Your Dad will live/love on through you and your children, but I know its not the same as having him with you.

Anne said...

I am so sorry to read this. My Dad passed a year ago and like you said, we had a complex relationship. That being said, I miss him every day.

Kristy Lynn said...

aw dad. I can't imagine. my parents have started getting older in the past few years (noticeably so) and this is one of my most constant fears.. my empathy and thoughts are with you - im so sorry.

Plastic-free Beth Terry said...

Deanna, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad this morning. Losing a parent really blows, whether the death was expected or not. I'm not praying because I don't do that but I am holding you and your dad in my thoughts today. Lots of love. Beth

Tawney said...

This must be an unbelievably difficult time for you. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...i will be sending you comforting thoughts to...take care of yourself!

Betsy (Eco-Novice) said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. This is a beautifully written tribute to your dad. You'll be in my thoughts this holiday season.

Hi, I'm Peach! said...

{{{Hugs}}} to you and your family!

Azulao said...

Moment of silence. (((((Crunchy and family)))))

wonkydonkey said...

Lots of comments on this post, I hope they bring you some comfort.

I lost my dad two years ago, just as suddenly. I was at a friend's house when I got the phone call; they lived across the country and I was unable to see him before he passed.

Like you, I had a 'complicated' relationship with my dad. I found it helpful to forgive and let go of the bad thoughts I'd been harboring, and to focus and amplify my memories of the good times. His passing also enabled me to build better relationships with distant siblings, as we came together in our grief.

Sending you cyber-thoughts for strength and peace.

Elizabeth B said...

Deanna, I'm so very sorry. I hope you can take some solace in your wonderful memories of your father.

Anisa/LazyHomesteader.com said...

Thinking of you today. Lots of love and prayers and good thoughts coming your way.

coldhousejournal said...

Sending our sympathy... haven't checked in for a few days, and sad to see this news when we did. Peace to you and your family. - D. & J.

brenna said...

I am so sorry to hear this. You will all be in my thoughts and I hope you can find peace.

All Adither said...

That sounds so hard. I'm truly sorry about your dad.

Deb said...

Just saw this. So sorry..You will be in my prayers.

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