Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Green gone wild!

Hemp swimsuit on HuffPost GreenThere have been a number of new green media announcements and launches this week. Discovery's new TV channel Planet Green launched yesterday and the Huffington Post announced that it will be working in concert with Treehugger and Planet Green on HuffPost Green.

The article in the New York Times earlier this week announcing Planet Green's channel launch gave me a hearty chuckle. No, actually, it pissed me off a bit. I even ground some crackers.

I appreciate that there is a channel completely dedicated to green issues and I have up until now been a reader of the Planet Green website, but I'm afeared that the content will be pandering to advertisers and to consumers who still want to buy, buy, buy! But, now they have a reason to - it's for the environment.

Some shows sound moderately promising. According to the article, Planet Green's new programs will show every shade of green, from "G Word", a daily series hosted by two news correspondents, to "Wrecklamation", billed as "recycling on steroids". But the rest of it sounds somewhat disturbing.

Tommy Lee the Egomaniac on Planet GreenFeaturing such greeny celebrities as Tommy Lee (huh?) and environmental advertisers like GM (what?), Planet Green is really stepping it up.

Another case in point: Planet Green was at the Indy 500 last month handing out T-shirts and beach balls to consumers who exemplified green living. Were those t-shirts organic or hemp? How 'bout those cheapo promotional beach balls? Hecho en China?

What? You didn't know that the Indy 500 was going green this year? I'm sorry, but there is absolutely nothing green about burning gallons of petroleum racing around in a circle. I'll even go so far as to throw in the fact that those who support these races aren't exactly "exemplifying green living".

Oh, by the way, GM (maker of the environmentally-friendly Hummer) is the "exclusive automobile sponsor" of the channel. As part of the deal, GM vehicles will be integrated into some programs, and Discovery will produce short-form videos about the company.

Now, I hope I am wrong. Really, selling green to the masses takes a certain touch. But, at the very least, I'll have something new to make fun of. After all, anything that's a "lifestyle and entertainment channel that's designed to activate people in the green space" has got to be great.

What's next? A green porn channel? The Ploughboy Channel, "designed to lubricate penises in the urban homesteading space" could be a real winner. I bet that their new show, the "G Spot" will be my favorite. Just, please, no Tommy Lee.

52 comments:

AnnaMarie said...

The funny thing is that alot of folks won't ever see these supposedly green shows because we've all gotten rid of our TV's that guzzle electricity and don't pay for expensive cable. If the channel inspires folks to go green and I mean hardcore green like Greenpa then they will shut off their TV's too and more and more folks won't see the shows. I'd love to see any show on that channel point this out. Wouldn't that be a hoot!

The Purloined Letter said...

****tearing hair out****
Having the same feeling while looking through National Geographic's new Green Guide.

Riana Lagarde said...

can i just say, i am so glad that you are back! sweeeeet. i love it when you call this stuff out.

i heard tommy likes to sit around in the semi-dark and burn tons of candles.

Three Herbs said...

Co-optation is the sincerest form of flattery?

Realistically, companies that depend on unending consumption for their existence can't be a part of the future for humans -- if there is going to be a reasonable future for humans. But, also realistically, I think it's a stretch to expect they would say this. It might be a stretch to expect them to grasp it.

Heather @ SGF said...

Rather than doing the right thing, it seems they're just trying to make money off a movement. Thankfully, we don't have cable. I don't miss commercials at all!

TheNormalMiddle said...

You echoed many of my same reservations.

What fuels and pays for television programming? ADVERTISING.

Methinks we'll see lots of ads for that "green" line of clorox products over and over again.

I still like to think most truly green people are average joes who don't need celebrities, ad pomp, and tv shows to deepen their commitment to the planet.

Anonymous said...

Crunchy girl you have made my day. I don't have cable so I won't get to see this mind boggling channel. So thank you for the laugh in a rather dreary day is a not so sunny part of Australia.

Robin Shreeves said...

I checked out the descriptions of most of the shows, and the only one that I'm excited about is the one with Bill Nye The Science Guy. I'm DVR'd it last night so that on one of those nights when my eight year old can't sleep, he and I can sit down and watch it together.

I'm not ready to call the channel useless yet, but I hadn't given a thought to the type of advertising that would be on it, yet. Gives me some food for thought.

jewishfarmer said...

This is what happened to organics - one day it was something your family farmer did, the next day it was as industrialized as conventional farming. I'm so glad you are here calling it out - because we're sure as hell not going to get out of the mess we are with a coopted environmental movement.

Sharon

She-Ra said...

I watched an episode of Was$ted on the cable on-demand the other day. It almost made me cry seeing how wastefully the family on the show was living, how they absolutely didn't care a wink about the environment and their trash generation, and at the end they were still hardly scratching the surface and in my opinion were still very clueless and wasteful.

Maybe some people will make the first steps which is better than nothing but oh we have so far to go. I can hardly stand to think about it.

DC said...

Another reason I'm glad we got rid of cable/satellite tv. Discovery now owns treehugger.com, so it's no surprise that they're a partner on this. Well, it's all about making -- whoops, I mean being -- green. There's no limit to how far this could go in saving the planet (from good). Just imagine . . . "Green Agriculture . . . brought to you by you friends at Monsanto. Up next, Shells of the Galapagos Islands . . . brought to you by Shell Oil."

Crunchy, when you're ready to sell out -- I mean, widen your audience -- I have found a sponsor for you.

mkjn said...

I actually watched their version of the show "Wasted" last night (although it was by accident. I thought is was the original version) and it was a joke. This family basically switched from paper towels to towels, and switched some light bulbs, which is great. But they still had like 5 cars. And the show never even touched on the topic of food waste. It was like "wasted light". Maybe it's a very pale shade of green?

Jill said...

I am concerned that the advertisers that are 'going green' are misleading the public. The companies are labeling their products eco-friendly when they are not. (Palmolive Eco dishwahing liquid) So, many people will buy the products and think they are helping the environment and have done their part.

Sandy said...

I sigh. Seriously. I don't know what to think of all of this. I saw it advertised on Discovery Channel a few weeks ago, and I thought, well, at least maybe a few couch potatos will learn...because we all have to learn somehow, don't we? We are all on different places on the path. I work with people who think global warming is a farce; off the top of my head I can think of three people in three seconds. And they are wonderful people who just haven't seen the light yet. I try to teach by example.

So I agree with you that this is somewhat of a farce...seriously...GM sponsoring? But on the other hand, someone's gotta educate the masses. There are lots of people out there who won't believe it unless they see it on their favorite TV show. With all due respect, look how an Inconvenient Truth woke a lot of people up. I was one of them. It drove me to the internet, to research, to read blogs, to find the 90% reduction group -- and I'm not an ecowarrier by any stretch but in my middle class suburban neighborhood I am an anomoly I can assure you!

So I guess every little bit helps. I tend to be an optimist. What if every person that watches that channel stops using paper towels? Drives one trip less a day? Switches out their lightbulbs?

Can't hurt.

Zabadaboo said...

I can see Tommy now, telling us all about his fair-trade heroin and free-cycled leopard-skin seat covers...

This is depressing, how much will I reduce my carbon footprint if I bicycle to the nearest bridge and jump off?

Kate said...

mmmmm...green porn. Now that would be perfect! Naughty recycling and sexy locavores! I can't believe the Indy 500 actually used the word "green" to describe itself this year. What a hoax. I shudder everytime I fill my car, I can just imagine the amount of gasoline used at the Indy.

Wendy said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Tommy Lee. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Makes me not so sorry that I no longer have cable.

Anonymous said...

Riana - don't think those are candles Tommy Lee is burning, although it could be organic.

Chile said...

The bottom line is this is about money. They want to make it and they will do whatever it takes to convince you to give it to them.

Yeah, I'm in a cynical mood this morning, too.

Heather said...

This is playing in well to my growing disillusionment with the green movement. Frankly, it makes me want to hurl.

It feels defeating. Why does everything have to be tainted by capitalist greed? I understand that becoming more green is a process that all types of people go through, and maybe these new shows will help the Hummer drivers to do SOMETHING to make their lives greener. I guess it's that old "Doing something, even something only a little bit good, is better than doing NOTHING" argument. But overall, it's bumming me out. :(

Three cheers for going green by thinking and doing, not buying!

loving green said...

Thanks for the laugh Crunchy ~ I needed that :)
Sam @ Loving Green

M said...

I live right next to Universal Studios Hollywood and with all of the recent "greening" of NBC/Universal, I have some of the same feelings. They want to rip up the current nearby metro parking lot and replace it with huge buildings and nearly 4000 parking spots!!!! What?! This is currently in an area where there is a small bus turnaround and about 400 parking spots. Who cares if their buildings are LEED certified when they are covering the view of the mountains with massive parking garages and gargantuan buildings? (Ok, you can see I am fairly passionate about this issue). Universal also won't allow people to bike along the LA river that borders their huge compound, one of the few car-free places in LA, because they don't want people trying to sneak into Universal and try to pass scripts to Universal employees along the river. The recent fire at Universal was just icing on the cake.

MamaFeelgood said...

I can't imagine Tommy Lee as the spokesperson for anything "green" but man he sure can play the drums.

Ex-metal head here!!

EcoDea said...

Great article, you did it again! :)

BTW, I second you Sharon!!

Jason C said...

I posted about Planet Green Tuesday and then just responded to your post today on my site.

You bring up some very good points that I didn't even really look at originally.

http://www.screamtobegreen.com/2008/06/crunchy-chicken-planet-green-response/

-Jason
http://www.screamtobegreen.com

Jason C said...

btw - someone was talking about National Geographic's The Green Guide. They bought that site (and used the content to make a one-off magazine version). Much like Discovery Channel bought Treehugger.

-Jason
http://www.screamtobegreen.com

RC said...

I gave away the Sony Trinitron back in 1975. Don't miss TV. Crunchy, I must say I appreciate all the cracker grinding you've been doing lately and I loved your Polish explanation yesterday. This blog DOES NOT grind my crackers at all.
All that said, I really think you ought to co-opt the co-opters. You can write really well and really humorously. Hand in a treatment to them called "Crunchy Chicken Grinds Her Crackers" and offer to produce a number of shows {one a month} or just one or two minute shorts for them to pop in here and there. You need to be reaching a wider audience. Nezua {Joaquin Herrera}
over at Unapologetic Mexican resides in Eugene and is on the same wavelegnth as you are. He does a lot of cracker grindin' also, but he doesn't call it that. He works for MTV this year. I bet he would like to do something genuinely green in the media realm. I'll tell him to check out this post and the comments. Maybe the two you could make a difference. Meanwhile, even though grinding was going on, this was a very funny post.

Nature Deva said...

I've been seeing all the websites and advertising going on talking about this new channel all over the place and have had the same feelings as all of you. Then I recently had to take a road trip thru corporate factory farm country and realized, well a lot of these people probably watch tv and seeing something like this on tv may just spark something in them. It's trendy and yeah, not really so green but this is how it can open the door to these cheeto eating, coca-cola in a baby bottle drinking parents and kids.

Because really, as I was driving thru this area I kept thinking, wow, we are sooo screwed as a country - what is going to wake them up?

blondeoverboard said...

pandering to the masses. getting the green fuzzys without having to give up anything especially rampant consumerism. toss out the old, bring in the new.. as long as it's green.

Zabadaboo, "This is depressing, how much will I reduce my carbon footprint if I bicycle to the nearest bridge and jump off?"
it all depends; are you compostable or a plaything of the monsterous funeral corporation?

Pippi said...

Oh boy -- I thought this post was a joke until I started reading the comments...

Christine said...

This info is so disturbing! I'm glad we don't have cable. Also, I want to say... Welcome back Crunchy! I'm glad your addicted to blogging because I so enjoy reading your blog :)

Anonymous said...

I do have one small piece of good news: it looks like GM will be discontinuing the HUMMER - Hallelujah! They are trying to keep up with the green movement but failing miserably - so they do what they know best - marketing. Supposedly in 2010 they will be putting out their own version of a green car - the Volt. At least they've got the message, it'll just take a while for them to catch on.

I can't even comment on the rest... all the new green hype in order to sell more pisses me off so bad.

Pam! said...

This is the kind of things that drives me crazy! GM sponsoring something 'green'???

As far as the Indy500 is concerned, I thought they used a 90%Methanol/10% Ethanol mix? Is Methanol considered petroleum based? Or does it depend on the source? (natural gas or wood distillation)

Beany said...

Re: Tommy Lee - Aren't blow jobs green? I mean there is no crazy hormones from the pill to flush down the toilet nor latex condom to get rid of. Also in some circles, not having a baby is also considered green. Therefore, blowjob == no baby.

I don't know if Tommy's Hep C invalidates all the blow jobs he got however. Hospitals tend to be huge users of plastic...

M.L. said...

I actually enjoyed the Bill Nye show - it was nice to see him again. The set-up was appealing: introduce an item (for this show, different breakfast foods), explain how the bulk of what's available is produced and why this is unsustainable (I actually didn't know that anchovy populations are declining because of their use as fishmeal for pigs), and then offer alternatives at different levels of energy and money expenditure (for instance, drink fresh over concentrate o.j., but it's best if you squeeze it yourself). I was surprised at the o.j. - apparently to their thinking the energy to concentrate the juice trumps the extra packaging/shipping required for fresh. I think it walked a nice line between appealing to the masses and conveying genuinely useful content. Tuned in just for this so can't comment on other programming, but was of course not surprised to see the "green" Clorox product commercials. thenormalmiddle called that one.

Robj98168 said...

What's next? A green porn channel? The Ploughboy Channel, "designed to lubricate penises in the urban homesteading space"
Despite the rumours to the contrary, I have not nor ever have been featured in green porn.But am always open to offers!

Fake Plastic Fish said...

Just want to say I LOVE the new Crunchy Curmudgeon! Your brand of rant is almost like green psychotherapy. We need more of it!

David@The Good Human said...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

crstn85 said...

Can they change all the programming to broadcast one message:

Unplug your TV and go outside!

They could even rotate,

Unplug your TV and rotate your compost
Unplug your TV and make cloth wipes
Unplug your TV and plant a garden
Unplug your TV and clean out your closets

Stella said...

Purloined Letter--me too, National Geographic's new Green Guide was given to me as a gift, and it was all about buying! buying! buying! How to green your SUV! How to buy lots of crap!

Really frustrating--I recommend that if anyone is already a fan of Crunchy Chicken, they are way beyond the Green Guide.

Miss Music said...

My philosophy about cable TV is that I get enough trash for free, why pay for more? There is very little on television that is worth watching, and it sounds like this new "green" network won't be any different. Read, play a musical instrument, go for a hike or bicycle ride...do anything besides rotting your brain in front of the "boob tube."

Crunchy Chicken said...

Rob - I see the resemblance between you and Tommy Lee, although I can't exactly vouch for the rest of your anatomy.

Although based on that lovely visual, I do have some suggested dialog for your new show, "The Horny Green Plumber".

-----------------

Lady: (In distress) My plumbing needs to be cleared out, Horny Green Plumber. Can you do it?

HGP: Looks like I'll need to snake your pipes, ma'am. But first let me get some knee pads out of my solar-powered van. This is going to take a while.

(Cue in music)
Bawm-Chicka-Bawm-Bawm-Waka-Waka-Waka

Crunchy Chicken said...

beany - I really don't recommend giving out green blow jobs without protection.

Maybe someone should make a reusable blowjob barrier. Kinda like reusable bags.

"I just hate it when I forget and leave them in the car!"

Chile said...

Is there anyone else out there interested in knowing what kind of google searches come up on Crunchy's stats?!

Crunchy Chicken said...

chile - fortunately, comment pages generally aren't include in the rankings otherwise I'd be getting a whole lot more traffic than I do!

Crunchy Chicken said...

Alright, just in the last few hours the following searches led people to my blog (just a sample):

*horse has sex with a human
*injuries with biodiesel
*chicken sex
*women with gray hair on their pussy
*pics of chicken sex
*big dick little chick
*stick man mowing pubic photo

And on and on... damn I need to read these more often. These are funny!

Chile said...

Oh my! Now I'm a little sorry I asked. Only a little, though.

Thanks for the laugh! And I think that comments do show up in searches. That's why I get "alina boobs" a lot. The search results will show her comment "Free Chile's boobs!"...

Robj98168 said...

I call tommy lee "Mr Tiny" ;P

hoorayparade said...

I finally watched Wa$ted last night. They did alright with the couple in NYC but the family with 5 cars? I don't understand why they even mentioned their food waste if they were going to have them do anything about it.

I thought the episode Oprah did was MUCH better.
And there was no cash incentive.

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200804/tows_past_20080417.jhtml

hoorayparade said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hoorayparade said...

Oh man. I suck.

Oh well, I tried.

Heather said...

omg, Crunchy, you read my mind on this "greenwashing" bit...I agree with you 100%. I've been telling my friends that I hate the green movement, if I hear "eco" or "natural" one more time in a TV or radio commercial I'm going to barf. I'm deeply concerned that people are so caught up in the "recycle" mantra that they have forgotten the first word out of their mouths should actually be "reduce". then "reuse". Recycling is method of last resort. I could go on and on but I'm sure it's all been said before here on this blog.

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