Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Floating fecal funship

Oasis of the SeasLet me tell you, I can't begin to describe how excited I am regarding the news that the biggest, or rather, most big-ass, cruise ship ever created is being launched on the public.

Royal Caribbean International's Oasis of the Seas, which will set sail in the Caribbean starting December 2009, has the carrying capacity of 5,400 passengers, has 16 decks and will sport a Central Park style open-air space the size of a football field, an attraction that will give guests the option of a sea or tree view from their cabin balconies.

Most excitingly, this boat will introduce the cruise line's new neighborhood concept, which will provide vacationers with the opportunity to seek out relevant experiences in seven themed areas based on their personal styles, preferences or moods. So, if you are looking for singles, drug dealers, hookers, swingers, pedophiles, scrapbooking or even the family friendly "neighborhood" you're in luck.

Oasis of the Seas will debut a new portfolio of 37 categories of accommodation options, so for those of you who can't exactly afford the penthouse or the 545 square foot loft suite, then perhaps the "trailer park" or "slave" berths are within your price range.

This 220,000 gross tonne floating poopmobile will also boast some exciting features:

  • The ship will be so enormous that it will have its own micro-climate
  • Even whilst faced with never-ending buffets you can still stick to your diet as the Norwalk virus will be able to run extraordinarily quickly through the large number of passengers
  • The opportunities for being mugged in Central Park are endless
  • The ship can alternate between being a floating prison, detention camp or a plague ship, depending on the government's needs
  • It's every man for himself to the rescue boats
  • Thousands of gallons of shit being dumped into the waters of the ports of call

    Cruise ship trail of shitNo, seriously, some of the waste streams generated by cruise ships include bilge water (water that collects in the lowest part of the ship’s hull and may contain oil, grease, and other contaminants), sewage, graywater (waste water from showers, sinks, laundries and kitchens), ballast water (water taken onboard or discharged from a vessel to maintain its stability), and solid waste (food waste and garbage). There is significant concern about the potential environmental impacts of these waste streams.

    A typical cruise ship (and we're not even talking about the big-ass Oasis) on a one-week voyage generates more than 50 tons of garbage, one million gallons of graywater (waste water from sinks, showers, galleys, and laundry facilities), 210,000 gallons of sewage, and 35,000 gallons of oil-contaminated water.

    Most of this waste is dumped directly into the ocean, some treated, some not. In addition, luxury liners spew a range of pollutants into the air that can lead to acid rain and contribute to global warming. They can also spread invasive species by dumping untreated ballast water in coastal zones.

    The rapidly expanding size and number of cruise ships in US waters has triggered a national cruise ship pollution crisis. Environmental laws have not kept pace with growth of the industry. Cruise lines travel the most pristine waters of America, dumping all the way.

    I don't know about you, but if this ship visits my area I'll be pretty excited to see the thousands of gallons of waste water pouring out the side like a fire boat.

    ...
    Poop, life's sweetest reward.
    Let it flow, it floats back to you.

    The Poop Boat soon will be giving you the runs
    The Poop Boat promises cramping for everyone
    Set a course for Lomodil,
    Your mind on a new poop dance
    ...
  • 46 comments:

    Kat said...

    wow, this is disgusting and disturbing. i pledge to never ride a cruise ship ever. this is awful.

    Atticus Sampson said...

    When I first read your blog, I was wondering how the new cruise ship was a good thing...
    Then I read the rest. The reworked lyrics for the Love Boat are quite impressive.

    Jen said...

    Wow....I never knew that about cruise ships....that's just sick

    amanda said...

    nasty!

    christina said...

    what u have described is true....Norms has to be made strict & has to be implemented strictly...
    I wish , more ppl shall read this & become aware of this issue....

    Regards
    Aban jogeo
    Thnkx
    regards
    Admin-Edufive.com
    Seminar topics ,Study Abroad, Study online

    AnnaMarie said...

    Honestly I've been a Staycation girl since wayyyy before the word was coined and I don't understand the desire to join the masses in a confined environment that travels over an uninhabitable area. Of course I have both deep water aversion and crowd aversion.

    I wonder if in the future when these floating garbage scows can no longer float the oceans if they'll be converted to anything useful?

    Corinne said...

    Brilliant post to help promote awareness on this issue. I was already clued in to the pollution problem, but here are two other reasons I was never keen on one of these vacations:
    - I already live in a city of 4 million people (Paris), not including the 6 million in the suburbs. The last thing I want to do is hang out with a crush of thousands of people while on holiday.
    - In the brochures they mention so many dozens of activities and events on these cruises, that I quickly concluded that the high prices are covering the cost of all this stuff, but you're never going to have time to do even the half of it!

    Give me a bed-and-breakfast with the locals anytime.

    Corinne

    Anonymous said...

    Many thanks for giving me ammo against cruising for the next family vacation

    Verde said...

    I've been on one cruise - I signed up quickly as the cruise itself was free.

    I admit it was a bizarre experience and the food waste made my head spin.

    I spent the first few hours seeking out a quiet spot on the ship.

    I don't think I'll be cruising again.

    DC said...

    I say hijack the Love Boat and go directly to Fantasy Island, where you'll find a magical potty house that never reaches capacity. Wouldn't Greenpa make a great Mr. Roark?

    Okay, I'm going on a computer holiday for a while -- don't know when I'll be back. Sail on Cap’n. Sail on, Crunchies. Luv ya all.

    Michelle said...

    Hey now, don't classify scrapbooking with drug dealing and swingers!! Seriously, I never knew this, GROSS!

    Crunchy Chicken said...

    Corinne - If you live in Paris I suspect a cruise would be less of a vacation and more of a torture session.

    DC - Enjoy your break. We'll miss you!!! Wait, you're not going on a... cruise, are you?

    Jennifer (of Veg*n Cooking) said...

    Wow, I mean, wow. I mean, all the environmental problems associated with a monster ship such as this, can people really afford this anymore? I mean, isn't this a bad investment?

    I guess if things get really bad they could turn it into a floating apartment complex.

    scifichick said...

    This is nasty! I didn't even think about it, but it seems so obvious now after you pointed it out. I will definitely avoid cruises. I haven't been before and I definitely won't go now. It's hard to believe that the cruise ship waste is not regulated. I would think that people living at ports of call don't really appreciate all the crap being damped next to their shore.

    Allie said...

    When I was in college, I took an anthro class on Caribbean Culture and we discussed cruise ship tourism a lot. Not only do they dump waste like nobody's business, but they usually finagle it so that their docking times don't require them to pay much, if anything, in taxes to the places where they dock. So they dump all this crap just off shore and then don't contribute enough to the countries to help them clean it up. And, if the country doesn't clean it up and over time gets known for being dirty or smelly or less than perfect and pristine, people stop traveling there and they lose their tourism income. It's disgusting. I'm really glad you did a post on this.

    Bugs and Brooms said...

    Oh this is so GROSS! I went on a cruise 7 years ago (long before my conversion to greenie started) and I HATED it! Too many people, too much stuff! I was miserable and couldn't wait for it to end! No plans to ever go again. To me, it is just another example of how we have lost the ability to entertain ourselves and our families! Can't we be creative and have fun a little closer to home?

    Great post on a real problem!

    katecontinued said...

    Great post, as ususal. Is this where 'poop deck' comes from?

    Long before I was aware of the environmental issues I was appalled to find out that Carnival, Royal Caribbean and most other lines pay zero taxes to the US government.

    Secondly, service workers on these lines have it really bad. There are countless human rights violations that go unpunished. Slave labor.

    It is getting harder and harder to watch conspicuous consumption - grinning and rejoicing faces bragging about waste! It is all around and it is work to keep outrage in check without erupting.

    Katy said...

    Wow, I knew there was a reason why I have never wanted to go on a cruise. Between all the reports of people geting sick and "acidently falling off" the idea of spending a week on one of those things has never seemed appealing.

    Now they seem grosser than ever.

    Nina said...

    hey, awesome blog!

    i'd love some feedback on my own, thanks!

    http://halfapersonblog.blogspot.com/

    Crunchy Chicken said...

    Katy - damn, I forgot to include the people that "accidentally" disappear. Nothing like falling overboard or being left behind to add some spice to your vacation.

    knittingwoman said...

    ewww. We get lots of cruise ships in the harbour of the city where I live. Lots of really big military vessels too. They not only dump their waste but vaste amounts of bleach too that is used to keep all those shirts white:(

    fhe said...

    I agree that cruise ships are an environmental disaster. But cruise ships aren't the only ones. The whole shipping industry is getting away with murder.
    See my blog
    http://greentri.blogspot.com/2007/11/license-to-pollute.html.

    Anyways, love your post !

    Beenznrice Illustration and Graphic Design said...

    OMG I thought they would have had a better way than that. It makes me sick to know that there is still raw dumping into the ocean. :X

    bee12 said...

    I have never been on a cruise ship and I don't think I ever will. That's disgusting... I am so glad I'm not a fish having to live in that!

    Kareer Woman said...

    Ugh......

    Anonymous said...

    I've been reading your blog since September of last year, and I've always enjoyed it.

    Because I live in Florida, and because I recently took my first cruise in over 25 years (my s.o. won it), this post hits particularly close to home.

    Everyone might want to know that S. 2881, the Clean Cruise Ship Act of 2008, was introduced by Sen. Richard Durbin in April of this year. This is the fifth attempt to get legislation passed on this issue (all others have died in committee).

    Perhaps this is another place where our recently practiced skills of legislator-contacting can be put into action.

    Bluewater Network also has some excellent information available on this topic at http://www.bluewaternetwork.org/campaign_ss_cruises.shtml

    Thanks for all you do, Crunchy!

    Best,
    Karen

    Yaya said...

    That is just disgusting. I have never been on a cruise chip and now to think of it that way...ewwww!!!!

    jennconspiracy said...

    Odd... I thought I left a comment earlier this morning, but I was on my home computer and sleep deprived.

    This was a funny post, Crunchy!

    I have never been on a cruise and have never been tempted by the idea of one. I remember reading something about a more "eco-friendly" cruise line - smaller ships, they were red/orange with a white stripe...

    San Francisco sees a fair number of cruise ships through each year -- I remember picking up my mom's Gay Cousin Bud (seriously - that's how all the cousins refer to him) and his partner at a Princess ship one year...

    I try to not think too hard about the effluent from the cruise ships while I am swimming in the bay with the sea lions. Yuck.

    I have a couple of Bear* friends who love going on commercial cruises and take a couple a year (and Disneyland, go figure - Bears are such queens!).

    In fact, the only people I know personally who have been on cruises are gay men... I know there is a cruise line that targets gays, but I wonder what the demographics look like of all cruise ship afficionados.

    Now - there's a completely different kind of cruising -- that refers to people who get on boats and go around the world from harbor to harbor. I have a friend who learned to sail and went on a "cruise" as part of the crew. There are a LOT of people out there on the ocean who live on their boats. My friend was one of those folks - casting off worldly possessions and going off to live on a boat for a year or more.





    *NOTE: A "Bear" is a gay man who is large (often big belly), and who has a big beard, wears plaid shirts a lot and probably drives a truck. Despite their macho persona, they are very into pampering and stuff like cruises and Disney. Seriously.

    Allison said...

    My husband was in the US Navy and you don't even want to know what is dumped just a few miles off shore. Open ocean (i can't remember how many miles out) belongs to no country so everybody-cruise ships, military vessels, commercial vessels-dumps there. Who will enforce it?
    No cruises for me.

    Leahbear said...

    Wow, Crunchy... I feel a little silly for not knowing about this! I have never been all that interested in cruises, and I'm relieved that I've never taken one! I promise to keep it that way!

    Vanessa said...

    i never got the appeal of cruises. just ick. i dont even like going to big hotels, too many people. went on vacation with my brothers in-laws once they did nothing all week. NOTHING. whenever i go on vacation i find lots of new and fun things to do out in nature or museums or whatnot, not just stay in a hotel room for a week!!! I would go stir crazy within a few hours on a cruise, forget all the waste and pollution.

    Robj98168 said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    Robj98168 said...

    try again- a person could alwayd book a Nude Cruise to try to help lower their cruise carbon footprint

    Anonymous said...

    Some of the cruise companies are in the forefront of "clean" cruising - including the one you "discussed". It may not be perfect, but it is a step in the right direction.

    Anonymous said...

    Someone else mentioned the military sea vessels & their impact on the environment.. an article about how military vessels dump trash bags full of all sorts of garbage into the ocean & use them as shooting practice raised my awareness indirectly to how cruise ships function as well.

    It should also be mentioned that all standard sea going vessels dump their fecal waste straight into the ocean.. (you know, yachts etc). All those weekend/holiday yacheters are pooping in the ocean all the time! :o

    Great post, as always! :D
    kat

    Pinky McMerkin said...

    Oh man, I heard about the poop these boats leave behind! I wanted to go on a cruise with my man until we both read about the waste it generates! Now we have agreed on a "greener" vacation. Eww. All that poo just being dumped out. No wonder there are dead areas in the gulf of mexico! Too many damn poop ships out there.

    mamachiro said...

    i went on semester at sea back in college and it was a incredibly monumental experience for me. BUT... i was completely appalled when i learned near the end of the 100 day voyage that ALL of the garbage/recycling we went through (about 600 people) was all thrown into the ocean... the number of beer cans alone was enough to make me never want to go on a cruise. they claimed there was no other way (rats, pests, etc), but i certainly hope they have figured something out by now.

    csim33 said...

    My husband and I went on a cruise a few years ago and were pretty disappointed. I'd read about a program that Royal Caribean has and that they are trying to be gentler on the oceans but it was just clever marketing. We watched as we waited to disembark some crew members in a small boat beside the ship, painting the sides of the boat with rollers. When they were done, they dumped all their leftover paint right into the Gulf. Plus, the amount of food waste as someone else mentioned was absolutely staggering. They set up a giant buffet of very beautiful food, much of it just for artistic purposes, not even to be eaten. Such a waste. We could solve hunger in a small country just by giving them the leftovers and wasted food from one vessel.

    RC said...

    Yeah, I live on an Island that those ships cruise. I've been seeing the waste {mostly over by San Juan PR} for 29 years. It's actually far worse than Crunchy says, but she did cover a lot of the problem.
    When I first read about the Central Park theme several months ago, I thought it was bizarro.
    I guess this was the Royal way to green up the experience. But as a grower in the tropics it immediately struck me how bozo this concept actually was. Most plants
    despise salt air. There are only very few that can handle it. Even Coco Palm {coconut} doesn't like it.
    And hey, put a park on a boat, float it around in constant salt spray and what have you got? Brown plants. I hope the whole wacko thing is under glass, otherwise it ain't gonna work out.
    It always depresses me that all that massive tonnage of compost gets dumped at sea when it could be
    adding nutrient on land somewhere.
    Bag that fine stuff up and make a deal with a farmer on the Island,
    Royal management! As for the poop, that stuff can be made into golf course fertilizer, or even some very special kind of water hazard!

    RC said...

    Forgot to say that most of the land originated poop goes right out to sea in the Caribbean anyway, much of it barely treated.

    ruralaspirations said...

    I used to have cruise envy but you've managed to wipe me clean of that! Seriously, though, conspicuous consumption or what? Yeee-uck!

    Stiletto Reflections said...

    I'm so against these cruise ships for this exact reason. Plus - it's not uncommon for people to get sick on them. I'd be soo mad if I spent thousands of dollars only to puke out both ends the whole time. ick!

    Maggie said...

    the only thing that comes to mind is "Poseidon Adventure" There's no way if this ship, with is Central Park, were hit by a rogue wave would it turtle the way the Poseidon Adventure did in the movie.

    That's reason enough to not go on it, poop issues aside.

    Stitches said...

    Wow, very informative. I never thought about that.
    The only lime I went on a cruise ship was when Make-A-Wish paid for it all.

    ~*SpUnKy*~ said...

    OMG!...

    Sharlene said...

    OKay- I am repulsed. Now I am glad I have never been on a cruise!

    LinkWithin