I actually have a breast enhancement post in the works but I thought, since many of us are sitting down to unnatural breasts this Thanksgiving, I'd write about it now. No, I'm not talking about Hollywood stars (unless movies and TV are on your t-day schedule), I'm talking about your turkey. The majority of us eating turkey are eating either a bird that has been bred for huge knockers or has been unnaturally inflated with plumpers to expand their breasts.
What's the problem with this? Well, for the injected plumpers, you aren't paying for and eating turkey, you are paying for whatever they are injecting, most likely a mixture of saline. Just like a boob job, but without the implants. If you like the taste of watered down meat, then it's no big issue I suppose. You could get the same effect by brining it yourself at a lesser cost.
Add on top of this these broad-breasted bird are bred for big boobies, which means that their anatomy isn't well suited for, well, moving around. They are more prone to tipping over and not getting back up. This is a huge problem if they have access to open water and fall in, because their giant racks prevent them from righting themselves and they drown.
I know that there is a myth that turkeys are stupid animals, but when you look back at native wild turkeys, they were pretty damn smart and nearly impossible to hunt. We've bred the life-force out of them over the years, built to our specifications for dining, altering their anatomy such that their quality of life just ain't what it used to be. So, today, we have a factory mill of dumbed down turkeys, who need artificial insemination to reproduce because they forgot how.
What's the solution? Choose heritage turkeys that aren't bred for big boobs. These animals are the closest thing we've got to preserving a domesticated turkey without all the anatomical weirdness. Sure, they are harder to find since there aren't as many people out there raising them and they are more expensive than even the organic, free-range or pastured broad-breasted birds. But, if we create more of a demand for heritage turkeys, the supply will increase.
You don't need a freezer full of free and/or cheap-ass turkeys given away during the holidays because the cost to produce them is negligible (and reflects on their care and feeding). You don't need a 20 pound turkey to feed 4 people. If cost is an issue, choose a smaller bird of higher quality for not only your sake, but the turkey's. And, when in doubt, forgo the turkey altogether and choose either vegetarian or an animal that has been given the dignity of a decent life.