Got a lot of blackberries? Then check out this recipe for Blackberry Mojito Fruit Leather.

I'm not a huge fan of fruit leathers, but this turned out super good! And, really, you can't go wrong with blackberries, mint and rum.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Why I'm going to vote for Sarah Palin

I've been more and more disillusioned with President Obama in the last few months. He's not representing any of the things I thought he stood for during the election and his latest stance on environmental issues and energy policy has been egregious. I understand that running a country as complicated as the U.S. is a difficult job, but that's no reason to completely backslide. In the end, you aren't satisfying anyone. No Republican will vote for him in the next election and, at this rate, no Democrat will either.

Which is why I'm going to vote for Sarah Palin in the next election. You know what you are getting when you vote for Sarah. Nobody is going to mistake her for being an intellectual who commiserates with the common man, no matter what she claims.

So, here are my top 5 reasons why I'm voting for Sarah Palin:

1. She knows how to make some cash
Between the books deals, speaking engagements and the reality shows, she (and her family) has shown time and again that she can rake in the money when it counts. I'm hoping she can apply the same sort of monetary skills to lowering the budget and, hell, just plain eliminate the entire deficit in her first term. I'm confident she can do that.

2. She can charm the pants off of anyone
Okay, maybe that anyone has to have an X and a Y chromosome, but with her powers of persuasion and good ole aw' shucks personality, she's sure to bring peace to the middle east, wrap up all those pesky wars and turn the White House into an international Party House.

3. She's self-reliant
Sarah will make Michelle Obama and her lawn garden look like a kindergarten seedling project. Forget raised beds and backyard bees, try some elk, moose and wolf hunting right there on the White House lawn. And let's pop that lawn open and get ourselves a stocked pond for fishing. People would pay out the nose to go hunting and fishing on White House property, especially when their least favorite legislators are visiting. (Refer to point #1 for hunting fees to bring down the deficit.)

4. Science is the real problem
All the world's ailments can be reduced down to one thing: too much science. With Palin in office, we can look forward to a life more simple, more biblical, less messy. While it will be difficult to argue that a woman's place is in the home (er house, I mean White House), life will be so much easier when women are in their place, stem cells are just a mere blip in the history of biology and the human race is again divine and there's no more of this monkey business.

5. She's hot
No self-respecting person likes to admit it, but she's easy on the eyes. Even if there is shit coming out of her mouth. But all those good looks won't be going to waste. In times of fiscal crisis, good looks (and a g-string) can be used at state dinners to collect some extra cash for the coffers. (Again, see point #1.)

All kidding aside, we haven't talked politics much lately, but how are you feeling about our president and his choices these days? Are you glad you voted for (or against) him?

52 comments:

Green Bean said...

I'm so disappointed in Obama. First it's GMO's, then drilling, then pressuring Dems to abandon the Clean Air Act. I mean, WTF! I get that he is trying to appeal to everyone and that Dem Presidents usually move toward the center but he seems to be drinking the tea party coolaid and not get what much of the country - especially those of us who campaigned and voted for him - really want. I was just thinking today that I'm not sure it could be much worse with a conservative in office.

CoffeeJitters said...

There was dancing in the streets all over the country on the night he was elected? When was the last time that happened for any American election? Who could possibly live up to that hype? Its impossible. No human would be able to accomplish what we expected of him that night. If we hold him to the same standard by which we judge all the other presidents, the Bushes, Clinton, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, etc... he more than delivers. He just didn't deliver our fantasy.

Erica said...

Democrats never fail to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It's their MO.

Michelle said...

Although I would rather drown in my own vomit before I would vote for Sarah Palin, I did vote for Obama and I am not happy with the president he has become. Do I regret voting for him? No. The alternative was worse but as a citizen I refuse to miss an opportunity to vote. All politicians lie, we can only hope they accomplish the majority of what they promise, which Obama clearly has not. IMO he has betrayed those who put him in office and although he seemed to have a great vision for this country when he was first elected, it did not take long for power to corrupt. Siding with Monsanto, not closing Guantanamo, still has our troops in Iraq and Iran, designating billions to more nuclear power plants, pathetic health care reform.that doesn't help the poorest of the nation in which it was suppose to. The list is long and sad.

Michelle said...

Ok. Iran on the brain. That was suppose to read Afganistan.

Betsy (Eco-novice) said...

My husband is VERY disillusioned with Obama. I'm a bit more jaded about politics in general, so I don't find it all that surprising myself.

I don't think we'll be voting for Palin though. Perhaps Tina Fey though.

Makropoulos said...

A month or so before the election that ushered Mr. Obama into office, I remember there was this rather precedent-setting meeting between the candidates and Pres. Bush, and all of the other living former Presidents, and I remember wondering "what the heck was that all about?" I had this bad feeling that they all got together and said "this country is currently SO F-ed up; we have to do something to lift the public's spirits, so let's elect our first black president! Let's make history rather than admit that a)we lost the war b) our economy is flat-lining c) we are hated all over the world (and there's probably a d and an e, but I can't think of them right now)

Within a week or so after that meeting, it became fairly apparent to me that the Republicans were handing the election to Obama.

They (the Republicans) were not fools. They knew that whomever got into the White House would first be exalted, but then, within six months questioned, then a few months later criticized, then hated, then not re-elected, because they all knew that the mess we were in at the end of the Bush Administration was far too big to be cleaned up during one presidential term.

I can't defend everything Obama has done or not done, but I do think we have to recognize that when it comes to electing politicians, we are only electing figure-heads, put there by the same group of powerful folks who just don't want to tell Americans the truth about the mess we're in. If we knew the truth we'd know we really do have to change the way we live. That would also mean that a certain percentage of the American public that just has way too much money and power would have to change the way they live, too, radically. And they don't want to do that.

(By the way, I believe Obama did say some of that at the beginning of his term. No one really wanted to believe what he was saying; all they wanted to hear was that the American economy was going to turn around quickly.)

So here we are, disappointed with Obama. I'm not disappointed with Obama, but I am disappointed with America's collective amnesia, especially when it comes to history and responsibility.

Oh, well, thanks for letting me vent.. I like your blog!

fitsandstarts said...

Ummmm... April fools? Right?

koolchicken said...

I have to say the last election was a mess. I didn't vote for Obama cause I could see through the act. But I didn't want to vote for McCain cause of Sarah Palin (I think she is a twit). Talk about a rock and a hard place, my Mum said screw it and voted for Ralph Nader.

But really what's to say, a lot of people got caught up in the hype. I don't blame those that voted for him, people wanted something different and he was. Obama was a well spoken, young, basketball playing guy and that appeals to a lot of people. He was a nice idea, but he wasn't up for the job. He promised a lot of things without thinking them through, and that's come back to bite him in the butt. When I hear him talk all I can think of is Anna from V, and things aren't looking too good for the humans next season.

I just hope the next batch of Presidential hopefuls are more interested in fixing problems than appearing in promos for Lopez Tonight.

Lamb said...

Honestly, I don't think John McCain and Sarah Palin would have made as big a mess out of the country as Barry Soereto has. Right now I hope somebody can convince either Gov Christie of New Jersey to run or Gov.Bobby Jindal of Louisiana to run. Maybe run together...that would be a fantastic ticket! If not, I will probably vote for a third party candidate, as I did last election.

Q said...

@fitsandstarts. I was thinking the same thing. Here's hoping.

Amy said...

Ron Paul is the only politician who has accomplished anything positive for this country in the past four years (i.e. Audit the Fed).

I've been a librarian for 20 years, and was delighted when Obama stood in front of the American Library Association before he was elected and promised us that he would do away with the part of the Patriot Act which allows FBI agents to come and view your library records - unfortunately, Obama forgot that promise as soon as he was elected, chose to keep that provision.

Disgusting.

B said...

What astonishes me more is that most of the people aren't really reading the post thoroughly and are mostly complaining about Obama. Um, I think the 4th reason "Science is the real problem" is the dead give away that this is an April Fool's post.

I think the disappointment everyone is feeling with Obama is that he isn't living up to the demi-God status that was given to him and everyone put him on a pedestal so quickly they seemed to fail to remember that he is a politician. Its a given that all campaign promises won't be followed through once someone gets the security clearance that the president has to realize "Oh, Shit. This is a lot messier than a simple fix". If anything that he is blame for, at the very least was the optimism that he had and that he brought in others.

Anonymous said...

Was just getting nervous, when I looked at the date! Whew!

Michelle said...

Boy, you don't mind stirring the pot, do you? Brazen thing :)

I voted against Obama. I find his policies way too close to socialism for my taste. And while I realize that he inherited economic problems dating back to forever (I decline to lay them all at Bush Jr's feet) I think his "create money and throw it at the problem" approach is shortsighted and dishonorable. Inflating our way out of our debts is not ok. O how I long for a politician to stand up and actually tell the good people of the US (and the world, though I suspect much of Europe already knows this): Hey, the world is changing. We can't keep on this way. We must change our behavior. We must consume less, produce more useful and durable goods, and quit our petroleum addiction. You will note that I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for such a person, though.

El Gaucho said...

I'd love to say that I'm angry/disappointed/annoyed with Obama, but the current political climate is such that no matter who was in office right now (Dem or Repub), they'd be subject to the same condemnation from every corner of the country. Special interests and lobbyists continue to dominate the landscape and have their agendas pushed through. As long as big business and the uber wealthy continue to successfully push their interests, the country (and the lower and middle class) will remain in the same stasis. That's why even though I disagree with 75% of his views, I'd vote for an idealistic reformer like Ron Paul.

Cathy said...

I never thought that Obama could accomplish the things that he proposed, but voted for him anyway. It seems to me that the presidency is more of a figurehead than any real position of power. I wanted a good speaker. ;) Congress seems to run this country. Having said that though, Obama surely could have made stands about things that would have made me feel better about him. I don't know what I'll do in the next presidential election. I won't vote republican, I do know that.

Kristina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
adventuresindinner said...

So True! I hate to admit it but I am considering voting PC in the upcoming Canadian election.

I at least I know what I'm getting and I wouldn't have to be faced with paying for another election in a couple of years (or months-we're a parliament).

Rachel said...

I'm mad at him on some fronts for sure. That said, I've decided that from now on I'm going to start supporting a third party, probably the Green Party. To me the BIGGEST problem in our government is that it's owned by corporations. At least with the Green Party they don't take money from corporations.

Mama Mama Quite Contrary said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

I voted for Obama but I felt that he was too middle of the road but a much better choice than McCain. Before Edwards became a philandering joke, I felt he was the most progressive and was prepared to vote for him.

I think Obama has done okay at some things but I am tired of him trying to work with the Republicans. They have made it clear that they aren't willing to work together so why isn't he throwing the same ugly rhetoric back at them? The Dems have got to get a better PR person.

Kelly said...

Happy April Fool's everyone!
If that wasn't April Fools I don't know what is!!
Palin Predictions:
• Proudly bulldoze national parks to sell to investors
• Hunt zoo animal to cut upkeep
• Favor high paying HFCS &pharmaceutical lobbyists for $$
• General screw-it policy to anyone making less than $100k
• Pretty sure she'd also sell advertising rights to bills
• Remember she herself has spoken against 1st amendment & joked about shooting liberals!
Obama may need to learn compromise- so does Congress but Palin- really?? My hope, is a three party election!!

Wendy said...

For the record, the American people do not elect the President. The "winner" is decided by the electoral college, the members of which will, usually, cast votes based on the popular vote, but they don't have to. Believing that we, individuals, really have any control over who, ultimately, holds that coveted highest office, is misguided.

"They" wouldn't leave such a monumenal decision to us common people. It is my strong belief if that were the case, that Bush wouldn't have served two terms. He wasn't that popular. And it takes a great deal of effort to suspend my disbelief that those who elected Bush would turn around and allow the election to go to Obama - if the "people" were in control of the vote. If the people were in control, and there were enough people who really did like Bush to have elected him TWICE, I believe they would have elected McCain rather than Obama.

That said, I always vote, and I didn't vote for Obama or his predecessor. I rarely vote for either of the two dominant party candidates. I'm disappointed that we don't have more of a choice in who gets elected, and as such I usually vote for a different party in hopes that the two party (really one party - opposite sides of the same tarnished coin) system will be eliminated. Personally, I'd like to see the whole "party" system eliminated, but first Global Warming, right?

Chile said...

@Green Bean, sadly it's clear that we do have a conservative in office. Even more sad is that liberal commentators are praising him for beating the Republicans to the punch on several of his recent actions. As someone else said, WTF?

Amy said...

I am a little disappointed in Obama, but find it hard to blame him personally for not getting everything accomplished in 2 years that he said he would. He's been stalled & blocked in Congress a LOT. There is a lot of time being wasted over defunding Planned Parenthood & fighting healthcare reform when real, economic, job saving decisions need to be made.

Also - he has done a LOT in 2 years. http://kaystreet.wordpress.com/2010/10/30/obama-administration%E2%80%99s-achievements-thus-far/

An awful lot - just not as much headline stuff as people want. He's only one person.

Mary said...

Thanks for April Fool's prank! I love that "Nobody is going to mistake her for an intellectual who commisserates with the common man, no matter what she claims." LOL

Anonymous said...

I would rather stab myself in the neck with a knitting needle before I voted for Sarah Palin. She is a TOTAL moron and a disgrace to the female sex.
Obama is doing the best he can given the utter chaos he walked into.

Sarah said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
All I can say to the other Canadian is don't vote for Harper. His agenda, simply put, is to dismantle everything Canadians have worked for for the last 60 years and let corporations run the country. And he doesn't even look good!

brad said...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x4295398

Robj98168 said...

Let's see. Check the calendar. Yup April 1st. Happy April Fool's Day Crunchy.

Patti~~~ said...

Recently found your blog----so glad I did!

I knew Obama would not be the panacea for this messed-up country from the beginning of his campaign, however, I voted for him anyway. Aside from the utter ridiculousness of Sarah Palin,I just could not bring myself to vote for a man who openly promised to stay in Iraq for the next 100 years, if that's what it took(to do WHAT, I'm not entirely sure!!). Because my son was in Iraq at the time of the election, I HOPED BEYOND HOPE that Obama was telling the truth about bringing the troops home and keeping them there. All he did, really, was START a "draw-down" in Iraq so he could escalate the war in Afghanistan. Guess where my son is headed in December??!!

Anyway, thank you so much for such a lovely blog. I've enjoyed rambling around and look forward to "visiting" with you again.

Nicole said...

Your reasons for voting for Palin are hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

I think American's have a really short long term memory and expect miracles out of our political leaders. President Obama cannot do everything he promised because we have a system of checks & balances in our government, he's not a dictator. Is he perfect, no.

This country was and still is in such a mess, no one could have fixed it overnight and I think Americans need to remember that.

CodyGirlScout said...

OMG! April Fools right????? Please.....

Lisa said...

LOL at all the comments that read "Ha ha ... April Fools! ... erm ... right?!?" !! Way to keep 'em sweating, Crunchy!

Leta said...

Yeah, like a bunch of other commentors, I am too jaded to become disillusioned with Obama. There is a 99.9% chance that I'll vote for him in 2012.

Because who else am I going to vote for?

Amy in Tacoma said...

Michelle @ 5:57 AM, you wrote, "O how I long for a politician to stand up and actually tell the good people of the US ...: Hey, the world is changing. We can't keep on this way. We must change our behavior. We must consume less, produce more useful and durable goods, and quit our petroleum addiction."

We had a president who did just that. His name was Jimmy Carter. Unfortunately, the country didn't want to listen to him.

Anonymous said...

I am wondering if some group isn't hiding out in the White House with a gun to Obama's head. I mean he looks miserable--like someone who knows what he's doing is all wrong, and his agenda seems to be the same as Bush's now. Maybe someone else is really running things, and he knows his some kind of puppet and can't do a thing about it. It's just odd. Honestly, that's the only thing I can say that helps me make sense of it. He does look like someone who hates his job.

Saponaria said...

I'm sick of reading excuses for Obama because he's "just a politician after all". Well, dammit, I'm tired of these lousy politicians. Next time I refuse to vote for the lesser of two evils. I am voting for Ron Paul. He's the only one I've seen who is not a complete liar. I don't totally agree with him but I think he'd actually do something to fix this mess instead lying through his teeth and then just doing whatever the corporations tell him to do.

Dianna said...

I live in Alaska. I did not vote for Palin for governor. When she was first elected she was liked but I could see through her right away and did not like her. Her popularity faded with time then the whole VP thing happen. I just want her to fade away.

I am a little disappointed in Obama. I didn't think he be all that different and that has proven to be true. I liked Kucinich and wish he had a chance in the US. It is funny how some claim Obama is a raging socialist. He is definitely not.

Brad K. said...

When Sarah Palin was nominated, I was greatly heartened. Not so much because Palin is who she is, or what she has done, but because she was so very different from the Republican good-old-boy, nominate-the-next-dodderer-in-line business as usual.

Then she left her job as governor of Alaska. Quitting like that is a tough, tough problem for me to overlook - and what Palin has accomplished since then doesn't impress me. I haven't seen her as executive of state, active in national governance outside of politicking and media actions.

Obama was the wrong choice from the get-go, his cronies were, and are, bent on opposing Democracy, they have no respect for the Constitution they swore to protect and defend, and little enough love for either America or for Americans. And, I believe that too much of the vote for Obama was racist - that some people voted for B. Hussein Obama simply because he was African-American and his opponent wasn't. Voting on the basis of race? That is racism. And, no, I don't think that is a good way to win an election, it overlooks experience, qualifications, strength of character, and past accomplishments. (I don't think, between McCain and Obama, there was much character to choose from; Obama distinctly lacked experience and accomplishment, and his associates were either tainted or invisible.)

I cannot imagine Ms. Clinton, who doesn't have enough moral strength to leave her wandering husband, as doing any better - if, indeed, what we see as 'Obama' isn't really Hilary already driving.

I cannot see that Sarah Palin has created the circle of power needed to form an effective government, I don't see her wielding the kind of power (except as Alaskan governor, that she decided was beneath her, or too much for her, or something).

I am waiting for the candidate eager to shut down the EPA, rein in the ATF, get the US budget under control, and defend the US in a troubled world. And I want to see experience and accomplishment in governance, not just the facile political lies that come to Obama so easily.

Elisabeth said...

LOL, I read this headline last night when you posted it on facebook and nearly had a heart attack. Then I remembered what day it was :)

Dmarie said...

GLAD I voted for him! and despite what's going on now, he's taken us further on the really important issues than the other guy would have! it COULD be much worse...WAS so much worse that I do not despair that President Obama cannot make all our dreams come true.

Julia's Child said...

I love your wit, Crunchy! Keep it up. Sarah's pal Michelle Bachman just visited my state--N.H.--and made an opening reference which managed to confuse Concord NH with Concord MA.

If either Palin or Bachman runs in 2012, at least it won't be boring.

Makropoulos said...

Oh, wow. I'm embarrassed. Boy I soapboxed it on your blog didn't I? Well at least I have the excuse that it was still March 31 when I wrote my discourse.

But now that I see the joke as a joke, I say: I'm going out to harvest the spaghetti off my spaghetti trees. Have a good one.

Oldnovice said...

Nice joke, but I'll answer anyway: I'll be voting for Obama again in 2012. He never was a liberal and had a reputation in the Illinois Senate as being the one who went "across the aisle" to promote compromises.

I'm a liberal's liberal. If I'd vote my conscience, my choice would be Kucinich. He could never win, simply because he's too short, but now that the country has moved further to the right, he's as far from possible as Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

I hope this is a joke. All you say is true, but she's a dum-dum. Through and through.

April Alexander said...

You're voting for Sarah Palin....you betcha! LOL! Hilarious post! I try not to dabble in politics...unless it has to do with urban homesteading, so I'm outie!

Crunchy Chicken said...

In case it wasn't patently obvious by now, this post was an April Fool's post.

Brad K. said...

Chrunchy,

Yes, but. There is much to like, for some, about Palin, who she is, and who and what we associate with her. For one, her lack of ethical taint is endearing.

And her yard signs can be used as wire wickets to keep the bird netting off the beans!

Anonymous said...

I didn't vote for Obama(or Obummer, as I like to call him)and I feel justified in not doing so. To say that I'm severely disappointed is an understatement. That said, I wasn't keen on John McCain for president either. Let's hope this time out, we have a viable candidate ( and NOT Sarah Palin :) ) who we can all get behind and support. So far, potential candidates on the Republican side don't fit that bill...not even Donald Trump.
Debbie

Anonymous said...

I will never regret voting for Obama over the McFailin' ticket, but I do now regret vocally supporting Obama over Hillary. I may have disagreed just as much with everything she would have done, but at least she didn't lie about it in her campaign.

I knew it was over pretty early on when Obama derided his own "Yes We Can" slogan, saying it was his wife's "corny" idea.

The Nobel Peace Prize makes me sick. How many military operations are we into now....I lost count.
He has put the nail in the coffin of party politics or me- that much is good. I left his party and will never join one again, nor will I ever be swayed again to vote for someone so another person won't win. Clearly this gets us no where. Anyone else who wants my vote will have to come and get it by having a platform I can live with.

Kathy said...

I supported Hillary but since she didn't make the ticket I went with Obama. I think he's intelligent and fairly well meaning but I'm very disappointed in his betrayal regarding the war. He campaigned with the promise of change, of getting out of the Middle East. We are still in Iraq and in December he approved 140,000 MORE troops to Afghanistan, while pushing back the withdrawal time line. I really think he's going to hurt our chances in 2012 and open the gates for a republican. ugh.

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