I've been more and more disillusioned with President Obama in the last few months. He's not representing any of the things I thought he stood for during the election and his latest stance on environmental issues and energy policy has been egregious. I understand that running a country as complicated as the U.S. is a difficult job, but that's no reason to completely backslide. In the end, you aren't satisfying anyone. No Republican will vote for him in the next election and, at this rate, no Democrat will either.
Which is why I'm going to vote for Sarah Palin in the next election. You know what you are getting when you vote for Sarah. Nobody is going to mistake her for being an intellectual who commiserates with the common man, no matter what she claims.
So, here are my top 5 reasons why I'm voting for Sarah Palin:
1. She knows how to make some cash
Between the books deals, speaking engagements and the reality shows, she (and her family) has shown time and again that she can rake in the money when it counts. I'm hoping she can apply the same sort of monetary skills to lowering the budget and, hell, just plain eliminate the entire deficit in her first term. I'm confident she can do that.
2. She can charm the pants off of anyone
Okay, maybe that anyone has to have an X and a Y chromosome, but with her powers of persuasion and good ole aw' shucks personality, she's sure to bring peace to the middle east, wrap up all those pesky wars and turn the White House into an international Party House.
3. She's self-reliant
Sarah will make Michelle Obama and her lawn garden look like a kindergarten seedling project. Forget raised beds and backyard bees, try some elk, moose and wolf hunting right there on the White House lawn. And let's pop that lawn open and get ourselves a stocked pond for fishing. People would pay out the nose to go hunting and fishing on White House property, especially when their least favorite legislators are visiting. (Refer to point #1 for hunting fees to bring down the deficit.)
4. Science is the real problem
All the world's ailments can be reduced down to one thing: too much science. With Palin in office, we can look forward to a life more simple, more biblical, less messy. While it will be difficult to argue that a woman's place is in the home (er house, I mean White House), life will be so much easier when women are in their place, stem cells are just a mere blip in the history of biology and the human race is again divine and there's no more of this monkey business.
5. She's hot
No self-respecting person likes to admit it, but she's easy on the eyes. Even if there is shit coming out of her mouth. But all those good looks won't be going to waste. In times of fiscal crisis, good looks (and a g-string) can be used at state dinners to collect some extra cash for the coffers. (Again, see point #1.)
All kidding aside, we haven't talked politics much lately, but how are you feeling about our president and his choices these days? Are you glad you voted for (or against) him?