A saloon and a spittoon

Well, my lower back went out on me Sunday morning and I am fairly immobilized, so no substantial post for today. Fortunately, the oxycodone has kicked in because the spasming muscles were excruciating. Unfortunately, I feel like I drank about 4 cocktails and as such I thought I'd share with you my favorite joke.

Now, first let me warn you that this isn't for the faint of stomach so consider yourself warned. Feel free to share this with your family at Thanksgiving, just make sure you tell it after everyone eats. My mom told me this joke when I was about 14 and it's probably the only joke I've heard that has made my stomach flip. This might also give you some insight as to where I get my twisted sense of humor.

Last but not least, don't forget to enter my latest giveaway for another heated blanket.

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A guy walks into a saloon and goes up to the bartender and begs him for a free drink as he is so thirsty he can barely stand it. The bartender replies, "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you a free drink otherwise I'd be giving away drinks to everyone."

The thirsty patron replies, "C'mon, I'm really thirsty, you gotta give me a drink!"

The bartender says, "No, sir, I'm sorry I can't."

The thirsty patron spies a spittoon sitting in the corner and says, "Well, if you don't give me a free drink I'm going to go drink out of that spittoon."

The bartender, assuming he's pulling his leg, says, "Well, you do what you have to do, but I'm not giving you a free drink."

So, the thirsty patron walks over to this heavy, brass spittoon, hoists it up to his mouth and starts chugging the contents noisily.

Alarmed, the bartender exclaims, "Put that down, that's disgusting!"

The patron continues noisily chugging away. The rest of the patrons start getting sick watching him.

The bartender yells, "Put that down, I'll give you a free drink!"

The patron, struggling to keep holding up the spittoon, continues swallowing.

The bartender, now beside himself, yells, "Put it down and I'll give you 2 free drinks, just put it down!"

The man continues chugging away. Finally, the patron lowers the spittoon to the ground and wipes his mouth off.

The bartender yells at him, "What, are you crazy? Why didn't you stop? I said I was going to give you a free drink!"

And the patron replies: "I couldn't. It was one long string."